Chasing You

Chapter 21

Knock

"Sí, Mamá. Of course I do eat at the right time."

"Don't stress your self too much, mi hija. Laza's fuel can be finance by our other companies."

Ibinaba ko ang tasa ng kape at ini- loudspeaker ang tawag. Pinatong ko ang cellphone ko sa counter island at kinuha ang na toast ng tinapay na aalmusalin ko.

"Mamá you know I don't want that to happen. What I want is to see by the other people that I can pull of everything without using that Lavista card."

"Mi hija, I'm just worried. Of course it is still what you planned. But to tell you honestly Casa Lavista is waiting for your comeback. Ikaw ang inaasahan dahil pinili nila Cevin ang mamuhay dito."

I can't blame Uncle Cevin. Philippines is indeed a home to be seek for. To be fight for. From the air, the streets, the pollution, the country it self. It's indeed a home.

And Philippines is my home. This is where I belong but I know I have my responsibilities back in Spain. To be a countessa is not easy.  Supporting and serving other family is not easy. Sometimes I found it suffocating.

"I know Mamá. Of course I'll come back in Spain soon. But por pabor, let me handle my business first. This is where I found myself. And..."

"And what, mi hija?"

Should I tell her? It's true I guess I found myself in here. But should I tell her my hidden reasons?

"Amberianna? Mi hija?"

"Mamá,"

I took a bite on the toasted bread and sipped on my coffee before talking. I shouldn't tell her. Nkt because I don't want to but because that is what I should do. It's not about the punishment, It's about him. It's about Davin, the reason why I wanted to stay.

"I, ahm, I think I'm falling... for the Philippines. I love to be here. This is my comfort zone and I'm calm in here."

"But mi hija, Spain is home."

"I know Mamá. It's just that..."

I'm falling for that man I wanted to own. But he'll get married. He will marry the daughter of the one of those who killed my Papá. Now I slowly treating him as my enemy without him knowing. If they get married soonest that would be because of me. I've been pushing Caravins to the coner for the past days.

"... I enjoy to be here."

"Well,  that's good. Since your Papá died I  don't know if you really enjoy your life or your just going with the flow. You are always drunk and I know you've been hurt so much."

"I'm healing. Just give me more time Mamá. Por pabor. Let me stay here."

"Of course, mi hija I'll let you. Anyway I'll hang up now.  We'll go visit your Papá's grave yard later. I'm coming with your Uncle Cevin and Aunt Ina. And then I'll go for a drive to see your lola. "

"Alright Mamá. Tell Papá I badly missed him and I hope his still here but of course I know his happy on where he is right now. Andbas per lola, hug and kiss her for me. Take good care."

"Estoy tabién mi hija. Te amo."

"Si Mamá. Te amo."

Ininaba ko na ang tawag at pinagpatuloy ang pagkain ng almusal.  Hindi muna ako pumasok dahil narin sa sama ng pakiramdam ko. Wala naman akong lagnat pero masakit ang ulo ko at hindi ko alam kung bakit. Hindi na ako nag abalan pang ipaalam sa iba at sinabihan ko nalang si Ria na siya muna ang bahala sa kumpanya dahil hindi ako papasok.  Maasahan naman si Ria kaya alam kong magagawa niya iyon.