Behind Closed Doors (studentxteacher) COMPLETED

Chapter 58

this is it next to an epilouge and my authors note

***RAINAH’S POV***

I spent a total of twenty days in the hospital. They told me I couldn’t walk for another four weeks. I was given plenty of painkillers and sedatives when I left.

My first week at home I wasn’t allowed to do much at all.

I was still afraid of letting anyone touch me, I wondered if that fear would ever go away.

Will and I were giving each other space, we talked sometimes but it felt weird to me. He had gone back to school after I was discharged.

The people that I talked to the most were Bethany and Xavier. They were the most understanding. They tried to help me find myself once again.

Xavier showed me any pictures I had of myself, he showed me videos of me performing. It was helpful and I really did appreciate him.

Self injury came back when I came home. It wasn’t about Ash though, it was about me being mad at myself for not being the same. I hurt people I used to be close to  because I was different.

I had cut four times in the week I had been home, I had told no one.

It was now Monday and I had insisted on going back to school.

I knew it would suck but I felt like I needed to start trying to get back into a routine. I wanted to go on with my life and school seemed like a good start. I hated sitting around doing nothing, school could make me feel more normal.

I had found the butterfly necklace Will had given me. It made me feel stronger when I wore it.

“You call Xavier if things get too bad, alright?” Bethany said as I got out of the car.

“Got it.” I smiled nervously at her.

I grabbed my bag and crutches before I entered the school.

A lot of people stared at me and whispered to each other as I went to my first class. I tried my best to block it out.

People would be watching for my reactions, it would be best if I didn’t give any. But it was hard not to react. I wanted to run, hide or scream but I forced myself not to do anything. It surely wasn’t easy.

No one directly spoke to me until I was with Dani at lunch. We were sitting at a table, talking quietly to each other when Liz approached us.

“People are saying your daddy raped you,” she sneered when I cringed. “I bet your lying for attention. Am I right?”

I took a shaky breath and stood up to leave. Dani was at my side, I think she knew I didn’t want her to say anything.

She led the way to Will’s room. I followed, blinking back tears. I didn’t want to cry over a stupid comment but it had hit a nerve.

Will was in his room, tuning a guitar. He looked up when we entered. He looked at me and sighed. I knew he had been expecting this. He thought it was too soon for me to be back at school.

I just went to my desk and sat in the chair, putting my head down. A few tears slipped out as I heard Dani tell Will what had happened.

I think I heard her leave and Will approached me.

“Rainah, do you want to go home?” he asked in a gentle tone.

“No.” I sat up and looked at him.