Red vs Blue: Private Jessie

Episode 26: "Nobody Likes You"

Blue Base
Simmons is looking up at the Blues on top of their base.

Simmons: What the hell are you guys doing!?

Tucker: (stands up) Aw crap, the Reds are here.

Church: What? Caboose, why didn't you say anything? Hey. One of you guys turn me around. I still can't move my legs.

Grif: What were you doing down there?

Tucker: Nothing. What're you talking about?

Caboose: We were just playing a game!

Jessie: (mumbles) Weird fucking game.

Church: Hey, Caboose, we'll handle this.

Grif: What in the hell is going on at this base?

Doc: I told you these guys're weird.

Church: Whaddaya want, Reds? Get outta here or we'll start shootin' at ya!

Grif: Oh yeah? You care to make that threat to my face?

Church tries to turn around, and fails miserably.

Church: Uhgh... no.

Grif: Yeah I didn't think so. Punk.

Simmons: Whoa whoa whoa, calm down guys. We didn't come here to fight. We just came to give back the prisoner.

Doc/Jessie: What?!

Tucker: Give him back? You can't give him back, you took him, a deal's a deal.

Grif: Yeah, well forget it. We don't want him.

Church: Well, sorry, you can't have another prisoner. That was our last one.

Grif: Hey, dude, what is your problem?

Simmons: Didn't your mama ever tell you it's impolite not to look at someone when you're talking to them?

Caboose: He's shy!

Church: Caboose, shut up.

Church attempts to turn and face the Reds. He fails.

Church: Look, we don't want him back, and we don't care what you do with him. Now if you don't mind, we'd appreciate if you'd leave us alone. We're in the middle of somethin'... kinda private over here.

Grif: That's sad. He is shy.

Simmons: Fine, but don't come asking for him back later.

Jessie: Guys, what happened to trying to keep the prisoner this time?

Grif and Simmons start heading back to Red Base.

Tucker: Don't worry, we won't ask for him back.

Grif: Last chance.

Church: Beat it, Reds!

Grif: Alright, we're goin', we're goin'!

Grif, Doc, Simmons and Jessie reassemble over a hill.

Grif: Man, I thought our team was obnoxious, but those guys are really rude.

Jessie: So, did anyone want to tell me about this plan? You know, the whole point of a prisoner is keeping them in captivity? We can talk about this more when we get back to base.