~ 𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 ~ A Ben Solo/Kylo Ren Story

24.

He couldn't stop flashing back to that horrible scene. Ren had thrown up 3 more times, his throat burned and his mouth tasted bitter. He had tried to pull himself together, brushed his teeth, splashed water on his face, and attempted to go back to sleep, but he couldn't drift off. He stared at the ceiling, eyes wide open because every time his eyes shut he remembered.

After almost 4 hours of painful, silent agony, he couldn't take it anymore. He stood quickly. He didn't bother changing out of his sleep clothes, a dark gray t-shirt and gray sweatpants with black and red accents. His hair was a mess, he knew, but he didn't bother taking his helmet with him. It was too late at night for anyone to be out and about anyway. He gently pushed open his bedroom door and stepped out. His bare feet felt how cold the floor was, and for a split second, he regretted not taking socks with him. But it was too late, he knew if he went back into his room he wouldn't be able to build up the courage to leave again. 

Kylo walked as if someone else was controlling his movements. He'd been to her room so many times in the last months, just walked there in the middle of the night, standing outside her door, hoping to gather the strength to walk in, countless times. But now, he finally had. 

He knocked, hopefully, loud enough to wake her. After a moment, he heard a sleepy "huh?"

"It's me," Ren said softly. He could sense her confusion. He knew she could probably sense his distress, too. The door opened and there Celeste stood. 

Her eyes were wide but sleepy. Her hair was messy, her clothes all wrinkly and bunched up strangely, but she looked breathtaking. 

"What's going on?" She asked, stifling a yawn, and looking him up and down. The door shut behind him, but he hadn't even realized he'd stepped inside. 

Ren froze momentarily as Celeste looked questioningly at him. 

"C-can I...?" He gently placed one hand on her waist, and the other on the side of her face. Celeste smiled cutely and nodded. He choked back a sob and pulled her in instantly. His arms desperately grabbed over her back, shoulders, arms, and neck. His hands ran through her hair and along her jawline as tears streamed down his face. He needed to feel that she was okay, that she was really there, and alright. 

"H-hey, what are y-"Celeste started. Ren panicked and pulled away.

"I-I'm sorry, did you not want me to? I shouldn't have, I'm sorry-" He began to ramble.

"Don't stop, come here," She grabbed a handful of the back of his shirt and pulled him back to her. He melted in her arms, and just held her close,  wrapping his arms tightly around her smaller frame. They stayed that way for a few minutes as he shook slightly, wracked with silent sobs. He composed himself a bit more eventually and took her face in his hands. He pressed a sweet kiss against her forehead, then took a step back. 

He looked at the ceiling and blinked away tears, taking a few deep breaths. 

"S-sorry about that..." He murmured.

"Hey, don't apologize. Are you alright? Did something happen?" Her voice was full of care and concern. He couldn't bring himself to explain, and without saying it, she seemed to understand. 

"It's okay. We can talk about it tomorrow if you want,"

"Y-yeah. That would be best, I think," He said softly. "I should head back to my room now. Sorry for the disturbance." 

"Stay. Just for tonight." Celeste suggested. Ren looked into her eyes and couldn't resist. He allowed her to take his hand and lead him to her bed. 

He tentatively rolled as far to one end as he could, facing away from her. He felt her move closer. He could feel her breathing and her heartbeat. After a few minutes, when he was sure she was asleep, he carefully flipped over to face her. He really had never taken enough time to really look at her. Stars, she was gorgeous. He didn't even realize he had drifted off, until a few hours later, he woke to light from the ships time regulating bulbs flooding in from the crack in the door. 

Ren started to get up to close it, or maybe to leave, but heard a small whine. He suddenly realized that he was holding Celeste in his arms, her face pressed into his chest, their legs intertwined.

"Don't leave," She mumbled. 

"But it's morning, darlin-uh, C-Celeste." He stuttered. She whined again. "We have the training to get to..." 

"Later..." She begged, hugging him tighter. She seemed to only be partly aware of what she was doing. Ren gave in and smiled. He pulled his hand away from hers and shut the door softly with the force, before taking her hand again and bringing it to his lips, kissing it gently. Celeste smiled, snuggling closer in his arms. 

"I don't deserve this..." Ren breathed, so quietly to not disturb her slumber. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead again, before laying back down and falling back asleep himself. They always had time to figure out that vision later. For now, there was nothing he wanted more than just to hold her, until the end of time. 

A/N: Hello! If you're enjoying this story so far, please consider leaving comments, votes, add it to your reading lists, or even follow me for more stories in the future. It really means the world to me, and I love seeing everyone's comments and thoughts! This story is currently under editing, and your support keeps me motivated to continue. If you like my writing style, be sure to be on the lookout for more, similar stories in the future! Thank you! :)

EDITED