Jewels to Forever

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Sarah gently pushed the door with her feet as she pulled her luggage behind her. It was currently midnight and she didn't want to wake Muhammad. She wheeled the luggage behind her once she was done locking it.
"Hey baby." A groggy Muhammad called out, stretching his arms above his head.

"Mo. Why are you here on the couch?" Sarah was flabbergasted. Here she was trying to walk in as quiet as she could and there he was, wide awake.

"I was waiting on you." He replied walking over to her. Sarah stared up at his scruffy face. He seemed so different and rough. Tears gathered in her eyes and soon she was sobbing in her hands.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say all those things I said. I was angry and jealous that she still had you and I was just here to fill up her space and I thought I could never and..."

"Babe breathe. Breathe." Mohammad coaxed.

"I'm so so sorry. I said words I shouldn't have. I hurt you. And I just left you here all alone and I'm sorry. I should have understood but I let shaytan come between us." Sarah wailed, staying put as she resisted the urge to let Mohammad hug her.

"It's okay Sarah. I'm sorry myself. I shouldn't have kept you in the dark. I was confused and shocked the first time I realised you knew her. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to lose you. I just realised." Mohammad whispered, staring lovingly into her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Sarah told him, her eyes glossy. "I love you."

"I love you Sarah. So much." Mohammad smiled, pulling her small frame to himself. He let his hand around her and held her tightly placing a kiss on the top of her hijab and then her forehead.

"I love you Mohammad Donovan." Sarah said pulling away and staring into his eyes. She went on the top of her toe and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.
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After tucking Sarah in, Muhammad grabbed the small journal and switched the lights off before exiting the room. Sarah had explained that it belonged to Sarah Abd'gafar and it would explain better what had happened in her life to understand her death and help him let go easily.
He made himself a cup of hot chocolate and sandwich before sinking into the comfort of the couch. He noticed his finger shake and before his mind could make up all the reasons not to go ahead, he opened up the first page.
  A smile graced his lips at the rough scribble of 'diary of  Sarah, do not go further. If found please return.' The book smelled of coffee and old pages.
"Bismillah." Muhammad whispered

May 01 2009
Dear Dee,
  It's my day today💅 and I'm fifteen😁
Mama knows how much I love writing so she got me this journal since my last one is filled up. I can't wait to share my adventures with you.
Xoxo❤️🌹

P.s Baba still harasses me, I'm scared.

Muhammad frowned. Her father harassed her? He skipped a few pages as his eyes skimmed through them. His fingers held a certain page that was stuck together. He gently peeled it open not wanting it to tear.

November 20 2009
Dear Dee,
Do you know how it feels to be defiled? Touched in places you never want to be touched? I feel so disgusted with myself. I've had showers and run baths to get rid of this disgusting feeling and I still feel dirty, like a disgusting pig. The word disgusting doesn't seem to leave my mind.
  I'm just fifteen. Complaining of how tiring school is despite how much love I have for it. Figuring out friendships and enjoying every bit of my halaqah classes as I learn about Islam. Just fifteen and I've been striped off what I hold dear to me.
Men they said are to be protectors of women and children. I have no brother nor father and the only figure close to a father to me defiled me and stripped my virginity. He was supposed to protect me and my dignity.
I sit here, crying and bawling my eyes out because I can do nothing. I tried to tell mama but she wouldn't believe me. I think it's because she's sick. Why won't she listen. I cry my heart out. Why is my voice not heard?