Jewels to Forever

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

Sumayyah sat very still. She was thinking through the question that the psychologist just asked.

"I feel inadequate." She sucked in air. "Allah has blessed me so much but I'm blind to it. Bilal has been everything to me yet I feel that I'm not worthy to be his wife."

"Why do you feel that way Mayah?"

"I see myself as an impure woman. I feel disgusted by my own skin like I should peel it off. I feel uncomfortable when he touches me and my heart breaks when he has that sad look on his face and as always he's patient with me. He tells me he loves me everyday and I can't even return it. Because of my carelessness we lost our first child." Sumayyah sniffed.

"Sumayyah breathe." Miss Aisha adviced. "Do you believe in destiny?"

"I do." Sumayyah gulped.

"Then do you believe that this is how Allah has planned it out for you?"

"But why? Haven't I suffered enough." She whispered, wanting an answer.

"When last did you utter alhamdulillah?"

"I don't even know."

"I have an assignment for you. before we go further, when you get home, tonight after isha and reciting surah al mulk, I want you to write out 5 things you're grateful for."

"Sure."

"I got you a book." Dr. Aisha pulled out a familiar diary.

"How did you get that?" Sumayyah asked, her mouth quivering.

"Before you write, search for the entry '5 things I'm grateful for.' then make yours on the last page of the book."

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Sumayyah locked herself in the library, her sister's diary with her. She searched through the pages for the diary entry.

5 things I'm grateful for- Sarah Abd'gafar

April 27, 2014.
Dear Dee,
I learnt the importance of saying Alhamdulillah at a very young age and I know how much storm is brewing in my life right now but here are 5 things I'm grateful for;
1. Being a Muslim.
2. Having my siblings and friends.
3. The air that I breathe.
4. Good health.
5. Food and shelter.

A lot of people don't have at least three of what I've mentioned above and I know that Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear. A lot of people are going through harder times than I am and it doesn't mean I won't acknowledge mine but it simply means that I'm grateful for mine and I trust in Allah. Alhamdulillah.

Xoxo🌹

Sumayyah smiled. She hugged the book to her chest. Her sister was really sweet and into Islam. If she knew and had this quran verse in heart what made her go ahead with what she did? Turning the pages to the last one, sumayyah let out a sigh.

5 things I'm grateful for- Sumayyah Abd'gafar.

She scrawled on the page. Her lips turned up as she stared at her surname. It was her father's name. She couldn't remember exactly what he looked like but she knew if he was alive she would have been treated like a princess along with her other sisters. She immediately frowned at that thought.

If her father was alive, she wouldn't be married to Bilal. She would have been living somewhere else without struggling to get a scholarship. Her father would have introduced a cousin of some sort.

1. I'm grateful for Bilal.

She was truly grateful that she had him. There was no man she had ever seen who practiced the sunnah, wanting to care for his wife more than her husband asides her late father and even he was no match. Bilal would help with chores, he helped her study, got gifts for her even when it wasn't Eid or her birthday. He was amazing in every sense.