New Levi x Reader One-shots [Captain-Fan]

Pornstar!Levi x Diva!Reader - Fake It - [AU]

Who's to know if your soul will fade at all

The one you sold to fool the world

You lost your self-esteem along the way

Yeah

 

    When Levi looked at you nowadays, he felt only one thing. Disgust. Was it because of your taboo occupation; filming yourself having sex in exchange for money? No, it couldn't be. He'd hate to be a hypocrite, like someone he knew. He too was one of the sellouts that pleasured people for loads of cash. He was disgusted by your image now, at least the one you'd project out to people. You came across as some porn star Barbie nowadays, always appearing as the perfect woman with impressive sex appeal and self-confidence. When you walked into a building, all heads would turn to you, as if you demanded their attention. Levi could sense this faux façade from the day he met you; the day you did your first scene with him. Having sex with someone, for money or not, opens you up to that vulnerable side of a person, and he was able to see yours clear as day. You had perfected faking into an art form.

     

Good god you're coming up with reasons

 

    "I was just a little off that day, I swear!"

    "What the fuck ever, you looked like you were about break down any second."

     

    "I was just acting emotional for the scene."

     

    "Yeah if there's one shitty thing you're fucking good at it's acting."

     

    "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

     

    You'd just lie. Lie and lie some more. It was basically pointless to try arguing and reasoning with you at this point. The fact that you tried so persistently to deny what he was saying was evidence all in itself. You'd never admit your flaws and you'd never admit that you were weak. As beautiful as you were, Levi wanted desperately to see you fail, that way, your true nature would be exposed. You, this brat of an icon, were nothing like how they displayed you on film or on magazine covers. 

     

        

    "Whatever, I gotta go to my interview now."

     

    "Don't let your ass hit you on the way out. Fucking bitch."

     

Good god you're dragging it out

 

    The perverse and personal interview droned on and on seemingly forever as Levi was forced to wait his turn backstage. You'd bat your lashes, show off the luscious lips, move your hot little body ever so sensually; it was repulsive. Levi could tell you were just putting on a show for excess attention. That's what you craved, right? That thrill and high from being something you're not. Yet, when he'd look into those vibrant hues of yours from time to time, he could vaguely peer into that sincere side of you, the one you'd do anything to disguise or hide. 

     

Good god it's the changing of the seasons

I feel so raped

So follow me down

 

And you'd say it over and over again, your famous little slogan.

    "I don't fake orgasms. I don't fake anything."

Bullshit. 

    The words the dribbled out of your mouth were pure trash, and he hated it. You didn't deserve any of this, not your made-up side at least. How someone so low made super star status in the pornography industry was beyond him. While he too shared the spotlight in this illicit industry, he had always kept his identity and sense of self. Scum is what he still classified himself as, but you? You weren't destined to be scum like him; you'd created some persona just to rise up in this soulless food chain.

     

And just fake it if you're out of direction

Fake it if you don't belong here

Fake it if you feel like affection

 

    Every answer, every movement, even every smile you made was insincere. You had become the pure essence of fake. The real you was no diva. Your heart hurt every time you were laid down to is taken by some filthy pig on camera, all in the name of extra shopping money. Self worth meant nothing to you anymore, you just wanted to feel something, anything. The real you hated walking into a building and showing her shameful face. The real you hated being a porn star. You'd still put on that disturbingly beautiful mask of yours in hopes to hide these flaws and insecurities to the world. You'd fake your image just like you faked orgasms. All of this, just because you were too much of a coward to be yourself. The only person to see through you and make you feel real was the one person that felt disgusted by you. Walking away from your grimy interview, you supposed you'd never be loved either way. So, you might as well continue to fake it. 

     

Whoa you're such a fucking hypocrite