Dandelions

grave stone

Saeyoon stared at the grave below her. She had been standing there for hours. Even after the funeral had ended, and her friends went home, and her brother, eventually, had gone home too. Yoongi didn't have friends, so it was a small funeral, Sookjae, Suyin's cousin, was able to pay for the proper burial.

She had stood there for so long that the clouds had darkened and cried along with her as she held the black umbrella he had given her when they first met over her head, blocking the rain from hitting her, although she didn't really care if it did. His oversized black hoodie, that still had his strong scent on it, covered her up in warmth. The last thing she could have that could offer her the feeling of him.

Staring at Yoongi's grave stone, flowers neatly packed around it, his name engraved in the stone, the ground smoothened out, six feet down from her arms.

She missed the way his hands would hold her. Missed the way his laughter filled her ears and his smile lit up, his gummy smile, the lips she couldn't ever forget. And the way he tasted...so sweet and rich. His arms around her waist, hot breath brushing against her skin. The warmth of his body never let her get cold. And his soft hair...the soft brown hair she would run her fingers through, listening to his soft breathing as he'd slowly doze off. He changed her. And she changed him.

And how much it hurt that she'd no longer feel him in her arms. Gone. Forever. Off into never land, where she couldn't reach him. Another wave of hot tears flooded her face, her weeping becoming stronger as she thought of his delicate skin in the sunset that looked golden, his chocolate Hershey eyes glowing in the suns rays, the wind gently blowing through his hair.

Saeyoon blinked. Multiple tears drowning her face at once, she didn't really know what to feel. She was numb. First it was devastation, sadness, broken, now? She didn't know.

A figure walked next to her, but Saeyoon didn't need to look at them to know who it was.

"Such an inconvenience. Didn't even get to slap him across the face one last time." Chungmin's deep, gravelly voice snickered.

Now Saeyoon felt anger.

She didn't say anything, but her hand tightened around the handle of the umbrella.

"You know, you could've done better, there's issues of dating a guy who used to do bad things, because other people wanted to hurt him as well." Chungmin pressed, Saeyoon's jaw clenched. Shut up. Shut up.

"If you need a hug, and maybe a reassuring kiss, my doors are always open, just sucks, would've beaten Yoongi up agai-"

Saeyoon closed the umbrella and with a fast, smooth swing, slammed the umbrella against Chungmin's head, the bigger man jolted back, rubbing his pained face, the rain immediately going to drench Saeyoon as she pointed the tip of the umbrella at him, tears cascading down her face with the rain.

"How about you just shut up! And think about the person you're talking about! He was a sweet guy who knew how to treat a woman, unlike you! You impeccable piece of shit! You're fucking insane! How about you think, just for one goddamn moment, about the man I lost, instead of saying how it's been an inconvenience for you!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, Chungmin glared at her, "Min Yoongi was my boyfriend, and I saw my whole life ahead with him by my side! I didn't think a fucking drunkard bitch who killed my fucking best friend would get in the way, but then again, can't expect anything from anybody these days! You killed Junsu! And you probably killed Yoongi! So get out of my life!"

Chungmin leered at her, standing back up straight, "Yoongi needed to be taught a lesson-"

Saeyoon slapped him with the umbrella again, "I don't care what lesson he needed to be taught! Get out! Go! Get out of here before I stab this through your fucking eyes!" She threatened, Chungmin lingered for a bit, before eventually turning around and walking away.

Saeyoon opened the umbrella and held it over her again, blocking out the rain, yet there wasn't much of a purpose, since she was already sopping wet.

Falling to her knees in defeat, she cried harder, she hugged Yoongi's grave stone, squeezing her eyes shut, her heart aching, body shaking, unable to think as she held the grave stone tightly like she'd never be able to see it again.

Slowly, she opened her eyes, which were a blurred mess until she wiped it away, looking down at the flowers. They had all been soaked in the rain, being beaten down by the harsh rain, yet, a pair of flowers were slightly under the umbrellas protection, which softened the fall of the rain.

Running her fingers under the pink roses, she leaned against the grave, curling up into his black hoodie, reminiscing in his scent, cherishing every inhale.

~

Saeyoon stared out at the city on the cliff Yoongi would take her too. The setting sun kissing her figure as she held an accommodatingly bouncy, white seeded flower in her hand.

She had been there since the afternoon, skipping a second day of school to stroll through town, her heart still hurting, and she had to make up excuses to people who asked her why she would start crying.

Her friends had become worried about her, but she convinced them she was okay. That she just needed to be by herself for a while. When really, she wanted somebody to hug her all night and tell her everything was going to be okay, but she was afraid to ask that. Or maybe...it was because she wanted Yoongi to hold her all night.

Daeho too had become concerned, he often denied going out with his friends so that he could check in on Saeyoon.

"I hate you Yoongi..." she whispered, "I hate you so damn much..." tears welled up in her eyes, her voice hitching, "you come into my life out of nowhere...curse me with dreams of you and I...you look at me the way no ones ever looked at me before...and then you leave me! What happened to 'I'll fight for my life for you?' Why didn't you keep that?" Saeyoon asked, her eyes glued to the city, the wind gently flowing her hair along. "Why did you come to me if you were gonna leave me? You can't mess with me like that! You fool!" She raised her voice, now the tears began to flow down her face as she wiped her eyes with her fingers to try to stop them.

"I hate you so much Min Yoongi..." she whispered again, clenching her lips in, "but I love you so goddamn much..." she looked down at the fluffy white flower in her hand. She stayed in silence for a bit, before raising it up in front of her face, and gently blew.

The beautiful white seeds flowed off the flower, into the wind, which carried it away from her. The beautiful thing coming apart, leaving just the stem in her hands.

A secret wish, a loss-

And a dandelion.