Dangerous Art of Beauty (Burnt Skies Series #2)

11

I want you all to put your heart while reading this chapter and  analyze my messages. To you, the one who's reading this. You're putting up a very good fight.

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I don't know where do i need to go but all i know is that i wanted to get away from here, away from everyone who knows me in this town. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan aabot ang petrol gas ng kotse ko pero wala akong pakialam. I know i'm  driving this car with so much speed but who cares?.. i don't know how to stop the tears that's streaming down my face but i really don't care. The tears keep blurring the things out on the way. 

I'm crying and i don't know kung saan ako dadalhin ng pagdadrive ko. I guess i'll just go to that beach since it's near this road. I looked for the tissue and wiped my tears immediately. I can't help but to sob because of the crying. 

I reached the shore and stopped the car infront of the sea, sumandal ako at pumikit.

"Why am i the only one who's suffering in this damn world?" i whispered as if someone's listening to me.

"⁠—Why am i the only one who's crying in pain?... why do people likes it when i'm down on my knees?!..bakit? hindi ko ba deserve na maging ako?!..Putangina!" I shouted even though i know..no one can hear me. 

I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the car door. I removed the ponytail and left my phone inside. I looked at my phone and checked if someone's checking on me...hoping that someone would ask if i'm okay. I waited for 30 seconds before shutting my phone, hindi na ako aasa dahil wala din naman akong kakapitan ni isa sa kanila.

I closed the car door and ran near the water. I removed my shoes and lay down on the pure grain sand. I looked at the dark sky and wonder why this is happening to me. I guess it's because i killed my Grandma, not physically but through my words. 

"I should've just died." i said before letting out a deep sigh. 

"⁠— i don't know myself anymore." i whispered through the wind.

I felt the tears going down side by side because i'm laying down. This is emptiness, sadness , loneliness and fear. I don't know how to follow rules that will help me to become who i really am. 

" This pain keeps building up inside me and i don't know who to call. The pain that still prowls through my mind, keeping and stopping me from pursuing my dreams for myself. Bakit halos ako lang nahihirapan sa atin?!⁠—" i shouted while crying my heart out.

I didn't heard my sobbings anymore because of the loud raindrops. No wonder why there's no stars. I let the raindrops covered my whole body that's still lying on the sand . I bit my lips as i appreciate the rain that's helping me to hide the tears that i can't let out all this time. 

Habang umiiyak ay pumasok bigla sa isipan ko ang mukha ni Lola na nakangiti. Ang baybayin na 'to ay naging saksi ng masasayang oras ko kasama si Lola. The first time i saw her smile because of me. 

I keep dancing to the beat that the waves producing. Prince's sleeping beside Lola, i looked at Lola while i'm dancing. She's looking at me with a big smile on her face. A big wave suddenly pushed me back to the shore and that made Lola laugh. 

" Lola! come here ! join me po! " i shouted, calling her while the waves isn't that big.

"No thanks honey! You come here ! pahinga ka muna kanina ka pa naggagagalaw diyan.." Lola answered before letting out a big laugh.