Commitment

Part 12

But Regan found herself dealing with the fallout of Loretta's decision three days later. Even when he argued with her she could see the sadness in his eyes. Obviously whatever had happened had cut deep and left scars. She could relate to that. But that did not excuse his surly behaviour with her, and she was not going to allow him to get away with it any more. He'd been living in her house for over three months, it was about time he dropped the attitude. He might not like her, clearly from the way he'd described her in the past, he didn't like her, or see her as having any redeeming qualities. But, that didn't mean she had to accept his viewpoint. Or his surliness.

Regan sighed. "Oh, lighten up!" She told him having reached her decision to stop tip-toeing around the man. Gray blinked at that statement. Regan folded her arms. Someone who thought so little of her was not in any need of any gentle responses from her. "Put your ego and attitudes aside!" She could remember everything he said about her character: pampered, self-absorbed, selfish, conceited, self-important, and an excuse of a woman. Enough. She was not going to put up with his abrasive attitude or his unforgiving remarks. She would not become like him: But she would not let him talk to her like that. If he had something to say to her, fine, but he would have to be nice and a gentleman! She nearly laughed at that.

Gray threw her a look over his shoulder and then continued to work on the rail. It still astonished him that she really wasn't afraid of him, or his moods or his surliness. She took his tirades about her superficiality in her stride. She seemed to have absolutely no worries about speaking to him, even when he was deliberately rude and downright obnoxious. She just kept her smile, kept her tone light and carried out as if he was doing nothing more than asking a boring question. He'd been downright obnoxious in the things he'd said to her the other day, but none of it appeared to make a difference to her. It was as if she simply hadn't heard him. Selective hearing he decided, with frustration.

"Did you hear me?" Regan asked quietly. He ignored that question. "It's not as if she's leaving." Regan told him gently. She envied the relationship she saw between brother and sister. And she knew he was worried about his little sister. But she also knew that, unlike Gray, Loretta was not happy working on the farm. "She's just accepted a job in town, doing something she loves and I'd say she is good at it. Just like you. You like farming, and you are good at it."

"How would you know?" Gray demanded. Loretta leaving was a huge shock. He hadn't realised his sister wanted to be working elsewhere. But then, in reality he hadn't really stopped to look. He just assumed: She was happy to pitch in, so he assumed she was happy! The fact that he was happy working on the farm, the fact his sister was safe, his family had a roof over their heads, that they were picking up the threads of their life and it was panning out well. Well, apart from the fly in the ointment, a fly who was currently buzzing around like a mosquito. She was still talking, still questioning him.

"How would I know? Are you kidding? Have you looked around?" She asked. He glared at her tone. But with his back to her, she would not see his glare. In any case she appears to have taken both roles: good cop and bad cop! She berates him and within seconds she praises him. Like being on a rollercoaster. "You have done a good job on my farm."

He said in his mind, your farm, not mine.
Unaware of Gray's thoughts, Regan continued, "I have seen she's done a good job with your rooms in my home." Regan replied quickly. She waited for a reply. Silence.

Yes, exactly, your home. He said in his head.

He knew Loretta had indeed done a wonderful job with the rooms they had occupied. She had a natural flair of furnishings and décor.

But his personal mosquito, aka, Regan, was still buzzing around he thought when he heard Regan's statement, "For goodness!" She took a breath. "She has real skills with things like this. Really good at put thing together. I thought your bedroom's décor was perfect for you." Regan huffed, when Gray continued to work. Regan said again, " It was perfect for you." She was tempted to tap his shoulder, to force him to pay attention to their conversation. Time for a different track. "You know, she only works on the farm for you! Because she loves you."

Silence.

This is like battered your head on a wall, Regan thought. She looked up at the sky and took a breath before she took a step closer. "Your dreams and her dreams are different." She said firmly.

"Yes." Finally he acknowledged that. "Does not take a genius to work that out!"

Regan grumbled, "Really?"

He was feeling disgruntled about not seeing that his sister had simply stayed on the farm to keep him happy. He knew that life was not simple. Circumstances change overnight, what you take for granted can vanished in an instant. He also knew his recent experience clouded his attitude, his actions, his beliefs, his expectations. Obviously his behaviour influenced Loretta's actions. He sighed. "I know that." He said quietly.

She could see that she was getting somewhere. His tone was less belligerent. "Good." His eyes showed he recognised his sister's wishes. "So why not let her spread her wings?" Regan persisted gently.

The belligerent tone was back! "She's too bloody young." He snapped and looked over at her, glared at Regan and assumed she got the message.

Regan banked her frustration. One step forward another two backwards. Regan ran her fingers through her hair. "Come on..."

"She is young!" He repeated with more emphasis, but did not look at Regan "She is young! Really young!" He missed the fact that Regan just shrugged at his statement. He knew Regan was right, he was not worried about his sister's age. But this is a different environment, really different to their old lives. Here, Loretta could hit all sorts of snags, problems, issues, of the two-legged variety. His sister was very beautiful, he knew that, and he knew that most men would be in hot pursuit if she was on her own. And if she was out there, alone, how was he supposed to protect his sister? Gray glanced over his shoulder, and said, "My sister is a beautiful, kind, young woman."

Regan interrupted with a simple statement, "Yes, of course, Loretta is kind, and stunning, and..."

He growled at Regan and interrupted her to say, "... and I am not sure that your local studs are, er, gentlemen."

Regan rolled her eyes.

"My grandfather and I wanted Lore to be safe. How could she fend off the local idiots?"

Regan said quietly, "She's twenty one. Not two." Regan tried not to let her smile show. It was so sweet the way he was trying to protect his sister. His eyes conveyed the thoughts he'd kept unvoiced. Regan knew she would have loved to have a big brother, a protective big brother, given her parents did not possess that gene.

"So?"

"She has a good head on her shoulder. She can handle local idiots. Plus she has to take responsibility for her life. Make decisions for her. Think things through." Regan's lips twitched. "You can't keep coddling her. You can't make all her decisions for her. And the decisions should not be done to suit you. Stop fussing. Stop coddling her. " Regan said gently, keeping her voice quiet and hoping it would lead him towards the obvious.

"I'm not." He snapped at her.

It was obvious that he cared about his sister, and just as obvious that he thought by keeping her close by he could keep her safe. But equally he was astute, he would recognise his sister had a different career in her mind. "Really?" Regan braced her foot against the other rail. It seemed very strange having this conversation with him, for she doubted whether anyone had ever prepared her for the role of mediator. She knew Gray hadn't changed his mind about her, still saw her as some lightweight, patronising arrogant cow, albeit a rich cow in his mind, but she refused to step away from confronting him. It didn't matter what he thought about her. Like hell. Well, she amended silently, it shouldn't matter what he thought of her. What mattered was making sure Loretta had options and a chance to pursue her dreams.