Commitment

Part 69

Gray ran his fingers through his hair. Regan nearly smiled. She recognised that sign: When he was hassled, he would run his fingers through his hair. She kept her eyes on him. Stop taking inventory, her head remonstrated with her heart. And her heart reminded her head, she would need a fair amount of patience and resolve to handle this situation.

From Gray's position, he thought she seemed determined not to let him run this engagement or plot the conversation route. Her tone might be cool, but her eyes were sparking with a fury. For a few seconds, he wondered whether he had any options. He ran through various choices and possibilities in his head: leave and come back later, or stay and push forward.

Regan took a calming breath, tipped her head back, lifting her chin pugnaciously, "Anything else?" She asked him, her temper barely held in check added a crispness to her question.

He tried to placate, hoping that he wasn't going to cause too much awkwardness, or to replace fury with frustration. "I heard you were asking about the price of a beef herd." Was his opening gambit. He'd been surprised when he heard people talking about her selling her cattle. Why would she do that? She'd already got rid of the sheep, she said at the time because she wanted to concentrate on cattle. So why the change in mind? She was so utterly infuriating! He had brought her farm from ruins to a possible success. Instead, she sold her sheep, with a full coat, and now wants to sell her beef herd.

She should have known the gossip mill would be in full flow. She raised a brow, ensured her voice was calm and reasonable, "So?" Her raised brow just further emphasised the fact she was perspiring. She slowly exhaled and tried to bring her temper back under control.

She dragged a finger across her brow to wipe at the dampness. Gray noticed that telling-sign and narrowed his eyes: She either had a fever or was nervous. His conclusion was that she was not well.

She knew she sounded tired when she asked coolly, "What business is that of yours?" She was indeed looking to sell. She couldn't manage the dairy and beef herd. She could get any assistance because no one was interested in working for her. So she was paring right back. She needed to make sure she could manage the farm. At the moment it was too much. She hadn't realized just how much needed to be done on a working farm on daily basis. What she was learning about the farm, was fast, but failure was snapping at her heels!

His eyes flicked to meet hers, as he issued a challenge. "I assume you are looking to sell your herd." He replied. His brows furrowed. It was true. She was looking to sell.

She nodded slowly, holding herself together and felt her neck suffuse with colour. Embarrassed. She did her best not to sigh as her failure registered. First sell your sheep, then your beef herd, next, no doubt will be the dairy herd, given the fact she was exhausted. She knew she was barely holding onto her dairy herd with a gossamer thread. Regan was pretty sure she would be cutting things fine with holding onto the dairy herd and her normal job. Regan tuned back and found Gray was watching her and waiting for her to respond to his statement. She blinked.

Gritting his teeth he questioned, "How much do want for your herd?" He folded his arms. Why was she selling? Why buy the cattle if she had no intention of farming?

She didn't want to be alone right now with him, given she was running on empty. "How much do you want to offer?" She countered flippantly. She was tired. Really tired. Inhaling the smoke, particles lodged in her lungs, two days ago left her feeling tired. Minimal exertion and she couldn't inhale or exhale without feeling dizzy. She knew what to expect after her recent adventures. Mainly, shortness of breath. Obviously it might take some time for her lungs to fully heal, she knew, but given she has a herd to milking, she could not stop. Getting up this morning was hard work, and the morning-milking sapped her energy. In between that and yesterday session, she had put in a shift at the medical centre. At least she did not have to do anything this morning, and she intended to go to bed as soon as this milking was over.

Gray's eyes narrowed in speculation. She obviously did not have a price in mind, probably didn't know what her cattle could go for. "I'm offering to take them off your hands."

Her mouth dropped open as his words registered "Why? Mr Richards is a sheep farmer." She remembered not to sound terse and not to show him that she was embarrassed. She said quietly, "I understand he doesn't do beef cattle." She had checked on his boss! She also knew that Gray was now the manager of one the biggest farms in the region. And was doing well, according to the local gossip.

Gray waved that aside, "Not on this farm, no." Gray said frankly. "But his farm in the Waikato is Beef. He has diversified."

She reminded herself to use her childhood strategies. "Oh. I see." She looked behind her, her eyes feigning nonchalance.

"So, what do you want to sell them for?" He looked at her steadily. And something about her body language had him wanting, urgently, to haul her into his arms.

She narrowed her gaze. "You know what I paid for them." She now knew what it felt like to be overrun by a steamroller! She already had a lot on her plate and did not have the energy to work out the price of her beef herd. "Why don't you email or telephone me your best offer." Of course she could argue her point, bargain a decent sale, but that was unlikely as she was still upset and was really, really tired. She added, "I'll consider it, along side the others." What others, a tiny voice niggled in the back of her head. She had just put out tentative feelers to see whether she'd be able to recoup the initial outlay.

What others, a voice asked in his head.

She remonstrated with little impact, "No need to drive out."

Gray wanted to grind his teeth. "Why?" He all but drawled, but his tone suggested that she was being difficult. Reigned in his irritation took supreme effort.

Came the aggravating response, "Just email, or leave a message on the answer phone."

"What? Just leave a message on your phone?" He asked without any hesitation and his annoyance seeped into his question.

She shrugged and she looked straight at Gray, and in her coolest tone she announced, "Yes, why not. I'll get back to you." She told him coolly. It was mortifying having to stand this close to him, and pretend that she was over him, while all the time she kept taking sneak peeks. He looked well. But then he would, he wasn't doing backbreaking work at his new place, he was the manager now, with people to boss and they would follow his instructions. He was the boss. The man with an issue with self-esteem was not here anymore. The man in front her was different to the man who managed her farm. You could see in his eyes, his body language, his confidence, his aura. The man was proud, assured and assertive.

The fact that she'd read him so well would have on most occasions would be good. But he wasn't thinking with his usual effortless thought processes. Gray jammed his hands in his pockets. This was not going the way he had hoped. How was he supposed to ask for clarification on matters the sisters had mentioned? He hadn't realized just how stubborn Regan was, until today

"If that's all? She pushed listlessly off the metal gate. "You know the way out. Good bye." She told him and started walking slowly toward the milking shed. She thought that might be the best options, because she was pretty sure she would not make to the house. All she need to do, is to sit and let the dizzy spell work through her system. She knew there were stools in the shed, and she could sit.

She did not look back. She was not walking fast. A slow amble, really. Gray rifled his fingers through his hair and stalked off toward the ute.