Commitment

Part 33

Regan heard their goodbyes as her window was open but she waited until she heard Caro's car as it drove off down the driveway. How many times had she done this? When her parents had invited their friends round to socialise, and in their social whirl forgotten to make arrangements for her to eat. With her stomach still rumbling she waited for another half hour. It was age old conditioning. As a child and teenager she had developed this strategy. Turning up before her parents had cleared away usually reminded them of their forgetfulness, which usually meant they berated her for not reminding them. So she had learnt to give them time to vacate the kitchen before she raided the fridge.

She planned on using the same strategy with Gray and his family. She'd give them a chance to tidy up and go to bed. Then she would head for the kitchen. She'd eaten at noon and her stomach had been growling since seven. She was sure it was psychosomatic. Knowing they were eating a feast in her dining room! Regan had eaten through her stash of chocolate earlier that day, her emergency ration for the days she didn't manage to get lunch! So she was still hungry now, when her sugar levels were way down.

So at quarter to midnight, Regan pulled on her dressing gown, slid her feet into comfy socks and padded silently out of her bedroom. The house was quiet. The kitchen was in darkness, that was a good sign, she told herself as she flicked the switch on, and then she headed straight for the fridge. She peered at the contents in her fridge. Nothing appetising. She debated with herself whether to make something lavish or just opt for a quick fix. Her growling stomach pushed her toward the quick fix. So she reached for the butter, closed the fridge and went to the pantry and got the bread. Toast. That would be great, she said quietly to herself, lovely warm toast. Even doing that brought back memories of her childhood. Whispering to herself, as if she was talking to a friend, she would get bread smother it with butter and hoped that her parents would not hear her. At least now, as an adult, she didn't have to move like a ghost. In any case, her housemates, she corrected that: there were not her housemates, they were her employees, she smiled to herself before she finished her statement. They were probably sleeping with wonderful dreams about their sumptuous dinner event tonight!

She was eating her fourth lavishly buttered slice of toast when the door opened and Gray strode in and came to a sudden halt. She was surprised to see him. Surely he would be in bed!

"Oh, I thought you were dad." He mumbled and noted the fact that she was eating. Toast. His eyes narrowed. Guilt swamped him. He'd known all along that she had lied about already having eaten. The whole evening was a fiasco. His thoughts were on her, not on Caro. Without his grandfather and sister, the dinner would be a disaster. He should have insisted that Regan comes to dinner. He should have changed the setting without asking.

She pretended she was not surprised by his appearance. "Nope. Just me." She took a sip of her hot chocolate and then picked up her toast again. Without saying anything more she bit into her toast. She'd had plenty of time to think about how she needed to change. This relationship was going to move onto a work-based footing. Right now! She would keep her distance. Give them their private space. They could lead independent lives to a certain extent. That would work. She can practice that, right now. In the past, shewould, no doubt would offer to make them toast or offer what was on her plate.But that was before this night event.

Gray narrowed his eyes. "So I see." He strolled past her to collect the stack of boxes. But his eyes remained on her. It was obviously from her body language that she was not happy with him. No prize for guessing why? The question was how to sort out this disaster without making things worse.

She munched heartily on her toast. It was amazing what simple pleasures one could get from simple food. She savoured the butter-drenched toast as if eating it was the equivalent of caviar. She wondered what Gray had ordered for this dinner this evening. It was bound to have been good food, well presented and cooked to perfection. Stop it, her brainwarned her, no time for disheartening thoughts!