Commitment

Part 14

Regan hadn't until that moment in time realised that she was fighting hard for Loretta's dreams because she had not had someone fight for her own, she herself had not fought for her own dreams.

She'd always done what her parents wanted of her. She'd hoped it would make them love her. She'd found it did nothing of the sort. She was, for all intents and purposes just another acquisition to them. They didn't really know what it meant to be parents. They just figured that they needed a child to complete their idea of a successful picture perfect lifestyle.

Regan tried to keep her emotions in check. "I know you love working here. You have improved the place no end." She could see that her words were not having the effect she wanted. She opened her mouth ready to say something, then closed it again, as she massaged the back of her neck and thought about how to phrase things. With a sigh, she eventually said, "You have tremendous skills, an amazing work ethic and you love working this land. What you have done here is nothing short of a miracle. You have worked hard here because you love farming." Still she stood in front of him and when he went to step past her, she shadowed his move and blocked him.

It had never failed to amaze him that his attitude to her had done little to change the way she treated him. She stood her ground, usually, irritatingly with a smile or totally misplaced humour or just quiet firmness. She might be a self-centred social butterfly, but she didn't back away from his various demands. Today she appeared to have stepped up a gear, and had gone from quiet firmness to downright stubborn.

Regan gestured around them, "As I said, what you have done for the farm is nothing short of miraculous. It's wonderful. I can't believe what you have accomplished. So much in such a short time."

Gray narrowed his eyes, wondered if she was building him up just to dress up an oncoming missile.

Regan realised her compliments were meeting a stone wall.

"You love farming. You really love it."

"That has nothing to do with ..."

"You have good skills. A good understanding. Great ideas." Albeit his ideas costs her financially and emotionally, but she continued "You know what to do. And the outcomes are good results for me, the farm, and you." She planted both hands on his chest and held him at arms length, when he attempted to push past her.

Gray was bemused. Her words of praise and her touch had him reacting again. For some reasons her touch, her compliments tunnelled past his hard shell. His hard mantle was practically paper thin. She drilled past his indifference, dodged and weaved past his comments and found herself beyond his security blanket.

"Thank you." Albeit with a trace of sarcasm. "But it does not give you the opportunities to tell my sister what to do!"

Regan sighed, and used his diversion to add, "Look, all I'm asking is that you allow your sister to experience that same sense of accomplishment. Give her a chance to feel what you feel. You can see how much this means to you. You love working here. Satisfaction. Fulfilment. This sense of doing a great job, with little equipment, and getting good results."

Well, at least she acknowledged that, Gray thought as he let her words washed over him.

"This, working here, this isn't her thing. It's yours. Let her work in an area that she loves. Imagine this place is a shop, and the Jones found a job for Loretta where you and your father could stay, your family would have a place to stay but you would have to pitch in with the shop, maybe stacking boxes of stock every day, would you enjoyed that? You wouldn't! It would have driven you mad! Working at this farm, is not what Loretta wants. It is your wish. You love working here."

Gray could see the value in what Regan was saying, but that didn't make it any easier to accept. "It's so easy for you, isn't it?" He reached for her hands removed them from his chest and dropped them as if their very touch was unclean. His body had no right to respond to her, no right. He didn't like her. Yet his body did.

His action registered. But she didn't let it distract her. Puzzled she looked up at him and asked with clear confusion, "What?"

Gray let his anxiety take over. He let his concerns for his sister's welfare consume the reality of Regan's suggestion. And he settled for berating, "Doling out advice. Lady Bountiful. Telling people what to do. Madam Ego. What do you know of hardship? You probably think chipping a finger nail, or two, is a disaster." He stepped past her and strode off tossing over his shoulder. "You think you know it all."

"I don't!" She glared at his back and then to her utter amazement hollered, "But I do know you are stifling your sister." She trotted after him.

She figured if someone was watching them they might well find her antics comical, given she was having to trot to keep up with his pace. That was the problem, this was new to her, standing up to someone, for a personal reason. She could stand up for people, she knew that, but that was in her career, as a doctor. She often made decisions, standing up for her patients. But this was different. This was a personal matter. Albeit, it was not for her. Actually she was standing up for someone else, and her actions would put her at a disadvantage, financially and emotionally.

"According to you." He tossed over his shoulder and kept walking. Then muttered in a loud whisper, "Because you know everything." He wasn't expecting her to follow him around, and here she was. Yelling. She was yelling. That was new to him. He nearly smiled.

Regan ignored his snide remark. "Talk to her." She dogged his footsteps, all but running to keep up with his long legged stride. She was fighting to help someone achieve their dream, the way she wished someone had fought to help her achieve hers.

"I do." He growled. "We talk." Wondered how he could shake Regan off and stop her from hounding him. It was obvious that she wasn't going to let up. Not going to stop stalking him until he gave in to her demands.

"About what she wants. Come on. Listen to her. She will tell you what she wants."

"What you want, you mean." He snarled and upped his pace.

"No! What she wants." Regan corrected and raced to keep up with his long legged stride. She was starting to get out of breath. But she was not going to let this go. Loretta needed to have something else to aim for. Regan knew that Loretta was being stifled, she really hated working on the farm. "You're being what you accuse me of. Self centred. Selfish." She called almost breathless in her attempt to walk and talk at his pace.

He flicked her a look but kept walking. So, he thought, his words had penetrated. She remembered them. So they must have registered.

"Pot calling the kettle black!" He muttered to himself.

She trotted to keep up, "All I am asking is that you just talk to her." She knew she was starting to flag. He was out pacing her. She was puffing! The next time, she told herself, make sure any other conversation, about the same issues, actually, any issues, would be discussed at home!

"Fine." He hollered.

"Fine? Fine?" She jogged and came alongside him, and once again reached for his forearm, grabbing hold and trying to stop him from moving on. She was breathing hard while his breathing was normal! His usual unflappable self. "You said, fine, right? You did say right?" Regan wanted to make sure she'd heard right. She knew that if he gave his word, then he would stick to it.

"Yes. I didn't think you had a hearing issue." He mumbled and kept walking on.

She rolled her eyes. "Good. Fine." She prompted, tracking after him. "And?"

"I'll talk to her." He huffed at her. "Enough?" He asked her.

She smiled. A victory. Surely that counts as victory.

"And can you let me get on with my job! Given I will be the only person working at this farm!"

"Great." She stepped in front of him. Again.

Gray curled his lips inwards as he bit off a swearword, "Anything else?" He raised a brow, and then folded his arms.

"Not at the moment. No." She smiled, pleased that she had managed to get him to agree. If he only gave Loretta a chance to explain he'd see that it was what she was desperate to do. Regan knew he cared for his sister, and that when he realised that Loretta was really unhappy working on the farm he'd allow her to work in town.