Commitment

Part 90

She turned her attention back to winding up the hose, knowing that she wouldn't be able to keep her reaction from being visible in her eyes. "Too bad." She mumbled. Gray wasn't sure whether Regan sounded annoyed or upset.

He felt helpless for a second, but straightened his spine, kept his voice quiet and his instruction brooked no argument "Me working here."

She turned around and she blinked. His eyes watched her face. Emotions raced through her eyes.

She didn't sound terribly pleased when she said, "Working here!" She couldn't help the scowl, as she began to protest more adamantly. "You don't anymore." She muttered resorting to sarcasm. "Remember." She hurriedly stepped past him, holding on to the roll of the water hose. Gray did his best not to grin at her prim response and obvious sarcasm. "Remember, I can't afford you Gray. I know you earn heaps more now."

"Regan...."

She interrupted, "I've overreached my loan to cover the livestock purchases. Which is fine, as the dairy herd is servicing the debts. But I don't have any spare cash." She glanced over at him, then she dropped the hose in the storeroom. "My position is heaps better now because you helped me. As I said, the dairy herd is servicing the debt. I'm fine now. I have Bob." And she knew a part of her wages went to him. That was fine, she was good at being thrifty and with Bob, doing half a day, it meant she was not tired.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and started again, "Regan..." He muttered an obscenity when she interrupted again.

She continued to say, "Please, don't waste your time. You have a job." Regan reminded Gray, on a huff of indignation, "A good job. With a decent wage." She turned around again and continued to stack the hose. "My finances have not changed. Still in debt. I can't afford to buy and I can't afford to hire beyond Bob. So, you see, nothing has changed." She looked around at the shed, looking for a reason to avoid this chat. Talking about her debts and her financial situation was not a good idea.

He thought best not to start with her name, because she kept interrupting his attempts at talking. "Lots have changed." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Not really. I really can't afford you." She chuckled with sadness, "In fact, to be perfectly honest I couldn't even afford to pay you the minimum wage now! I have Bob on a part time basis." She had worked out a plan for Bob, and has found a way to support Bob and her own circumstance. She was paying of the debts, was only doing the normal shifts at the centre, and being thrifty she could afford to pay Bob for the equivalent of a half a day. She told him, "So I can't afford you! And you earn heaps."

Gray hid his wince. He knew what it took to concede pride and to lay yourself open, to reveal private matters, especially finances. He came closer. "Regan, we can sort this. I can work here ..."

Regan sighed, then rubbed the heels of her hands tiredly against her eyes and then took a breath. "I've tried that." She looked straight at him. She was not expected him to be this close. "I'm not doing that again. I can't afford you and I won't take on any more work to generate money to pay your wages."

"I don't..."

She interrupted, "Apart from the farm and my car, there is nothing left to sell. I don't have the capacity to employ anyone full-time. I do not have savings. I am working full time as a doctor, will not do more."

He hemmed her with the storeroom behind her and him in front, "I am not asking for ..."

"You did. Remember? That's why you took that other post, earning ten times more, I think you said." And her eyes flashed both in anger and humiliation.

He cradled her face between his palms, "That was then." His thumb gently brushed against her lower lip, in a tender caress. He had a week away and he thought he had a new plan that might just work, although a few minutes ago, he thought he had scuppered his plan B.