Commitment

Part 64

From his vantage point at the kitchen window, Gray was studying the group of women, while listening to the cluster beside him. He could see that Regan was animated, and from her body language she was arguing with them, and was enjoying it! It had puzzled him, this other side of Regan's character, the complete sincerity, directness and candour. With him, she opted for agreeable and compliant more often than not. Which is why he had been disagreeable a few minutes ago! He wanted to push past that wall she put up, the wall that kept those she didn't trust on the outside. He realised he wanted to be on the inside, he wanted to see her smile, for real. So today, he had gone out of his way to provoke her. He knew from what Mairie had told him, that Regan had paid what she could, and he'd seen first hand, that when it came to work she could put in the effort. But what he wanted, was to see if she saw him as anything more than the man she had paid, albeit cheaply, to work her farm. Because he realised he wanted more. He'd known that from the moment he'd seen her months ago, but he hadn't been ready to acknowledge it until today. Recognised that, was difficult. And the problem now, was how to get past her wall.

She usually had a smile on her lips, even when he was sniping at her. And she was remarkably composed.

Today, he finally admitted that he wanted something deeper with her, that he wanted something more from her. He didn't want that particular smile, a feign smile. He wanted her to smile at him, with sincerity. Wanted her to see him, the way she saw the Jones family.

She argued with them, teased them, smiled, laughed with them because she trust them. He wanted that. That relationship. That trust. That connexion. That rapport. That bond. He was going to work on that. For what struck him the most, was that when she smiled with the Jones, her eyes lit up. It wasn't the semblance of a smile, not just a tilt of the lips. Her eyes lit up, she looked like she was smiling from the inside out. And when she argued with them it was without inhibition. No restraint. This was a side she only shared with those who were really close and those she trusted.

A few minutes later, Gray saw Regan with her jacket on. She is leaving, obviously, his brain all but said with sarcasm, and it had him moving fast.

"Are you leaving?" Gray stood in front of her. Of course she was leaving.

"Yes." She had just collected her jacket, and was going to see Jenny and family to let them know she was leaving. They knew she was going to leave early because she told them. Her cows needed her!

He glanced at his watch and she rolled her eyes. She attempted to move past him, took one step and he mirrored her actions. "Do you mind?"

"Yes."

"What?" She blinked.

"I wanted a word."

She rolled her eyes again and waited. "What you do want, Mr..."

"You know my name."

"Yes. If that is ..."

"No." He kept his growl to himself. "I have a name, that you know because we lived together for months."

"Yes, so?"

"Friends do not use surnames...."

"You do not consider me your friend. So what I call you is immaterial." Regan huffed.

"I do consider you a friend."

"Well, too bad! Because, I do not consider you a friend!" She was fed up.

Lucy saw Regan with her jacket on so she reminded her mother "Mum, Regan is leaving."

Alison looked around at the direction that Lucy pointed at, and saw Gray and Regan's back. "She will come to us when she is ready to leave. She is talking to Gray!" Alison said quietly and re-joined the group conversation. So Lucy remained there. But when Lucy lifted her gaze a few minutes later she saw Gray stopping Regan's progress and saw Regan's reaction, Lucy thought Regan needed back up.