touring - m.g.c

twenty two. [m.g.c]

"6 weeks since I've been away,
and now you're saying
everything has changed
And I'm afraid that
I might be losing you"

I scribbled the lyrics spilling from my head onto the paper. It had been six weeks since Casey had left. I hadn't spoken to a single person since. I would just waste my nights away getting drunk and sleeping with anyone that gave me some form of attention.

I knew that I needed to get my head back in check and sort myself out, but my heart just wouldn't let me, it just hurt. It hurt to act like everything was fine, when I knew that it wasn't. Nothing was okay, the girl I loved just left my life, all because of a drunken mistake.

It was my fault, of course it was. if I hadn't have suggested to go out that night, then Casey would be cuddled into my arms right now. I just cried a lot instead.

But I had decided recently to channel my emotions on writing a completely new song. A song which would showcase that I missed her so much.

She was everything I had, everything I wanted, everything I needed. And because I couldn't keep my dick in my boxers, I had pushed her away from me.

"Michael get ready we have a show" Ashton said as he barged in, throwing a clean Shirt my way. "you know Michael, she wouldn't want you moping around like she died. She cares about you Michael. She wants you to be happy, just try to actually enjoy yourself." He sighed. "I know you're going to think, 'oh yeah he thinks it's so easy forgetting someone you love' but she was my best friend too Michael, someone I could actually trust. Like a sister. And now I can't see her, none of us can, so try and think of the rest of us too. Just don't ruin this tour okay."
He left the room.

And then the door opened again, "and we have an interview tomorrow before we head to America, we need to choose a song to perform. And they will ask you questions about Casey. Just answer truthfully what you can, if you don't want to answer just say so okay? Don't fuck up"

This was way too much.