Beth calls me after school and tells me that Amanda is gone.
I stay silent on the phone.
I picture Amanda on a family hike in the forest, taking a knee, slowly sipping water. I think about what she was like as a little kid: what it sounded like when she laughed; her quiet moments alone; the books and movies she loved; what she imagined for her life.
"Beth, I'm so sorry..." I say.
"Can you stay over tonight? My dad's okay with it."
"Of course. I'll come by now."
I'm scared to go over to her house; afraid of what it'll feel like, afraid of her dad, how he's handling everything. But Beth needs me. I want to be there.
I curl into bed with her at her parent's house. We keep our clothes on, and I hold her while she cries herself to sleep.
I forgot to tell Mom that I was staying over at Beth's house, but she's sympathetic when I explain to her what happened.
"It's an unimaginable horror to have a parent taken from you at that age," she says. "When my mom got sick, it felt like the end of the world. Your father was actually a huge help in getting me through that period."
I guess I'm my dad in this scenario.
"It's great that Beth has you," she says.
"Yeah, I want to be there for her."
"Good," she says, and nods, looking down as though contemplating an additional thought.
"It's not going to be easy. You'll have to put your own feelings and needs aside and focus on her, you know."
"I know that," I say.
"That's also not an excuse to get off track. Doesn't mean you can forget about how important this school year is. In the new year, we'll need to start applying to universities with you."
"I know."
I'm not sure if this is her trying to be helpful or thinking I need to be hit over the head with a sledgehammer just to hear her.
It doesn't matter. I'm too tired to engage in any kind of conflict, and I honestly don't really care what she thinks right now. I care about Beth, making sure she's okay. That's my priority.
"I care about Beth and I want to be there for her," I say.
"Good," she responds.
"Good," I say.
"You know, I'd love to meet her sometime."
Hmm. There isn't a good excuse as to why not, but it still twists my stomach into knots.
"Sure," I say. (Can't wait.)
YOU ARE READING
Alternative
Teen FictionTim's public high school experience thus far has been characterized by bad grades and the total absence of a social life; he's listless and needs a change. So, after grade eleven ends, his mom decides to enrol him in a bizarre, little alternative sc...
