December 15, 2008 at 1:52PM

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Sunday rolls around. The glow of Saturday starts to wear off a bit. Beth went home to spend time with her dad. My parents are still out of town and I have nothing to do, so I go for a walk.

I didn't dress for the weather. I'm getting cold. It doesn't bother me though.

I start thinking about John, how he must be feeling—what it would feel like to lose your partner after so many years of being together. 

For almost everyone, the people you cared about most were one day just going to be taken from you suddenly. For no discernible reason. And those close connections were the only thing really worth living for as far as I could tell. It would almost be funny if it weren't so cruel.

Beth and her family are religious and even they weren't spared. All that praying and going to church and still a random, sudden death in the family. Her mom died before her fiftieth birthday, before Beth even graduated high school, before she could see what Beth would do with her life, before she could see her have a career or get married or have her own children.

I'd told Beth I loved her, and she had said it back.

I felt closer to her than I'd ever felt to anyone.

Where was it leading though... how would it end? 

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