Ganster's Squad

Chapter 54: Natasha's ex.

Natasha was happy how her day had went so far. She renewed her wardrobe and Angie would have a heart attack when she'll see all the vibrant colors she had picked, nothing black. Greece had stirred inside her something she had thought she lost, her passion for living. Not once she thought of Namjoon and how disappointed he looked when she told him she's leaving.

She was relaxed and happy, as a weight was lifted from her shoulders. The fresh air, the change of scenery made an impact on her. She could properly think on what she really wanted. She wanted to get a divorce and go home to Namjoon, if he will take her back. She didn't blame him if he would push her away. In the end, how many second chances a person could give?

The next step for her was to find her long estranged husband. She wondered if she still hand some lingering feelings towards him. He was her first everything, first kiss, first time she had sex, and obviously her first boyfriend. Now her husband. She hadn't seen him in more than seven years. It would be interesting for her to come to terms with her past and finally break free from its grasp.

The clean air, the sea breeze and the silence, gave her the opportunity to reflect on her life. Her life wasn't supposed to go like that. Did she had regrets? Of course she did. Would she have done things differently? Yes, there were better choices she could make, but the ones she did were the only ones she saw. Namjoon was right, the sum of your choices and the things you go through, are what shapes you to who you are. If she could change her past, she would do it in a heartbeat, but it was impossible.

When she was kidnapped, all she could think of was going home to her father and sister. She cried herself to sleep every night. When she finally understood what Kane wanted from her, was the moment she lost her precious childhood. Kane brainwashed her to the point where she turned her feelings off. She couldn't allow herself to feel, otherwise she'd would have gone crazy. He taught her how to kill without remorse. She still remembered the face of her first victim. Natasha was sixteen, her victim was a female around her twenties. She didn't want to do it at first, but Kane hit her over and over again, until she could barely breath. After she regained her consciousness he put a gun to her hand and demanded to kill her. She refused again, and he hit her even more.

Natasha had no other choice but to do as she was told. It was no longer about her need to do the right thing, it was about her own survival. Kane broke her mind and spirit. She never thought she could be normal again, that until she met the girls. They helped her see and feel things she didn't understand the concept of. Her story was the reason she was so worked up to protect everyone. Nobody was there for her, she didn't want others to feel the same way. The impossibility to save herself because she was too weak was eating her brain out. She swore she will never get to that point again.

She draw her strength from the childhood memories that she cherished dearly, until it was time to free herself. Ji-yong, Kane's son, was different from his father. He genuinely cared for, and many times he tried to help her, but not even him could deter Kane's plans. So Ji-yong came with the brilliant idea to get married, in hopes to make her life better.

She was seventeen at that moment with no other prospect. When Ji-yong left, she was all alone with her worst nightmare. Kane punished her for Ji-yong's leaving by breaking all the bones in her body. Only now she knew it was a hoax. Ji-yong didn't leave, he was manipulated into it. She wondered what type of person he became without Kane's influence. He was her first everything. Her first kiss, her first touch, her first man.

She refused to date another because she was too broken and saw all men alike. Her line of work didn't help either. She became skeptical when it came to the matters of the heart. Namjoon opened up so many possibilities for her. The truth was that she was still unsure how she felt about him. He made her heart flutter, he made his way inside her brain, she could pick up his perfume anywhere. His scent was unique, intoxicating. All she could do now was to find Ji-yong and figure the rest out. Thank god she learned a few things from Maite and she found him easier than expected. She was on his yacht, waiting for him to come back. She was holding her gun, she didn't trust him one bit. For all she knew, he could be worse than Kane.