The Fragile the Broken and the Brave

45. Talk

8.25.20

Benji's POV

When I felt myself falling asleep, I jerked myself awake for the fifth time. However, when I popped open my eyes, daylight was streaming into the room. Oh no, I fell asleep... Come on, please remember that dream! Oh God... Nothing's there. I can't remember anything that I knew just a few moments ago. Come on stupid brain, work!

"Benji, go back to sleep. It's 6am." Mikey was gripping my lower back, and I sank slowly down into him. My face buried into his neck, and I let my head go so that I didn't make my neck sore. The ceiling fan spun in circles above us, and with every rotation I floated farther into my thoughts. Come on, think! What was that dream!? I lifted my head up to observe Mikey's face, and I just now noticed how relaxed he seems when he sleeps. The boy always appears to produce an energetic aura, but that doesn't happen when he's resting. So quiet and calm... I wouldn't mind sleeping with him for the rest of my life– wait what? Bad brain stop it.

I found that I couldn't fall back asleep, so I got off of Mikey's chest before laying right next to him. The bed was firmer than I was used to, yet it still craddled my body enough to keep me comfortable. Then I just laid there trying to figure out what I was forgetting while tracing shapes onto Michael's skin. My magic was finally coming back into my chest from the explosion, and I welcomed the warmth it provided me. Now that I know it exists, I can't imagine life without the constant swirl in my chest. It makes me feel safe and comfortable with my own strength, and I was glad. I've always felt like I rely on my friends too much for my protection, and now I could do it by myself. It was a great mental relief from my shoulders, and one less thing for me to constantly beat myself up over. Now just gotta get rid of that dark fear; I hate that part of myself. Vulnerability isn't my favorite thing to drag behind me.

The door opened about an hour later, and I turned to see my father. His face was grimmer than I had ever seen it before, and he beckoned to me slowly. I took one more look at Mikey before wiggling out of his grip, but every move I made he just made his grip tighter. This is going to be annoying. I scooted out of the bottom while sliding a pillow into his arms, and I finally popped free almost five minutes later. I watched the African-American boy roll over with the pillow on his chest, and I figured that to be a success for me.

I tip toed over to the door before exiting and closing it silently, and I soon turned to my father. He was standing across the hallway staring at me like a lamb to the slaughter, and his hand gently rested on my shoulder as soon as I got near him. I was lead down the hallway at the pace of a snail, and I just wanted to get to our destination right now! He finally pulled me into his office, and I plopped down in one of the chairs. 

"There's something we have to talk about."

"What is it? If it's about what you were talking about with prison asshole last night I already know."

"How did you hear that?"

"I was awake."

"Yeah, that was what I was going to say... What are your thoughts?"

"Well, I'm obviously bummed out about the whole living for a long time thing, especially if I gave to watch my own children die... I understand that it's probably hard and a lot of responsibility, but... I think I was born for this, and I have to accept it, even if I don't want to."

"You're very mature."

"Well yeah I like to think so."

"And self centered."

"Wooooow."

"I just want to make sure you're happy; that's all I've ever wanted."

"How did I even get chosen for this?"

"It passes down to the youngest living member of the master's family. I didn't know we were related to the master, but that just proves the point that a lot of your generations won't remember their link to you."

"And I'm not allowed to just say, 'no, I don't wanna give up my happiness?'"

"You're kinda obligated. There's some extensive ritual to get rid of it, but it's very painful and very rare to survive. The previous master reported that his brother had tried it back when witches were still persecuted and he didn't want to be revealed to the world, but he didn't survive the transfer. Also, it's very painful to the next person to overtake those powers since their body was never designed for it. I knew there was a reason you were a loud cryer when you were first born. Most warlock babies are peaceful. I'm sure that it's still painful for master children to endure the change, but you never remember it. Our previous master has vivid memories of the pain from when he was a teenager."

"That sounds horrible..."

"It was. Benji, being a master... It's great, but not perfect. All power comes with a price. While you get insane abilities and leadership over the light supernaturals, you also have to brandish the pain of everyone dying around you. It's a long, sad life with a few positives."

"Dad?"

"What?"

"What if I never find a soulmate?"

"Benjamin, don't talk like that. First of all you aren't 18 yet so it's next to impossible. Secondly you have 1,000 years to live. At some point in those years you're going to find your soulmate. We can hope for your sake that it's within the first few, but we never know. I didn't meet my actual soulmate until a few days ago."

"Wait, so then who's my dad?"

"Oh God we are not having this discussion right now."

"Hey, you owe me something to actually tell me before someone else does."

"Okay, okay fine. I was really drunk, and that doesn't make it right, but... Well I had a really good time and ended up getting pregnant about the time Dev did with his husband."

"Well where is he then?"

"Well that's the thing. He's kind of dead."

"Oh... I'm sorry that happened."

"I'm okay with it now that I know he isn't my soulmate. He was neglective and abusive towards me when I was carrying you and that's something I won't be forgiving that any time soon."

"That sounds harsh."

"It was, but that's a time that is dead. I don't have to worry about it anymore. The present is much more challenging."

"So how do I become this master thing with no one to train me?"

"We can only remember the teachings of our last master and hope not to guide you wrong. The world always has a way of balancing itself out."

"I'm just worried I'll be alone forever..."

"You won't. No matter what, you'll always have your soulmate to lean on."

"That's good."

"Yeah, so don't fret. Oh and I have ice cream."

"ICE CREAM!"