The Fragile the Broken and the Brave

57. Water Droplets

10.24.20

Everyone used to tell me that death was unexpected and indefinite, and I don't think that I ever believed them. Even when my parents died, I had trouble thinking that way. There was always a next day, a light at the end of the tunnel that let me know I was still alive and well. I always thought I would get to see one more day, one more smile and a laugh, and it takes falling off the face of a cliff on order for me to finally learn. There's no path to infinite life, no secret code that a person has to solve in order to gain one more day. Life takes a turn, and you lose. There are no winners in the race against time; it's impossible to win. No matter how fast you run, the end will always catch up to you. It breathes down your neck every second of the day; a constant fear like a steady stream trickling over a waterfall. The stream feeds to a creek, which soon flows into a river. Every person is connected just like every one of the numerous rain droplets that fall from the sky. We all end up in one place eventually; the ocean. For some it takes longer than others. A life can be lost the second it is made in a sick turn of fate. The thing about water droplets is that they can flow down into the ocean, but none can return to the top. Water doesn't run uphill just as life doesn't revert to birth. The only way for a singular droplet to be replaced at the top of the mountain is for it to be broken down to a shell of itself and replaced, like a second chance. However, not every droplet gets reused. A constant cycle of knowing and unknowing, day in and day out. Humanity can only be certain of one thing; one day, our lives will end. We don't know where we are in the river at any time. For all we know we could lie in the estuary of life awaiting the final push out into the ocean salty with the tears of the dead. On the contrary, we could be barely joining our first river. Every thought we've ever had, every laugh and cry... It will soon be lost into the ocean with all of the others of the past.

As I plummet towards the ground, regret and panic rushed all throughout my veins. I should have spent more time with my father, gotten to know him and allowed him to feel as if I was actually his son. My final remarks to Connor wouldn't have been cocky and annoyed. I would have visited the people who I thought were my parent's grave at least once. Even though they weren't my actual parents, I should have told them how grateful I was for the way that they rose me. Then, there was the one thing I should have changed that shone above all of the rest. The singular most important part of my life that I've been brushing off for this long. I don't know where I would be mentally without Mikey by my side. He has made my days so much brighter, and now I could only fathom the chance to tell him that. I couldn't kiss him one last time, I couldn't use his comfort and take it along side me to meet my maker. He would get a call that I was missing from someone in the mansion and look for me endlessly to no avail. His tears would forever stain the ocean in misery, and they would weigh heavily on my chest for the rest of my days. Everyone may assume that my position and everything that was going on had gotten to be too much for me; that I had ran away after losing my mind. I don't want to have left them without a word, that's the last thing I ever would have done. Because, let's face it, I don't have the ability to let the people I hold close to me go. I don't want to disappoint them, I never have. I crave their love and attention, and I feel as though to let go of them is treason. To hide something from Mikey, it would hurt me inside. It's the same as if I found out that he was hiding something from me. I would hope that it would harm him too, but who am I kidding? Certainly not myself, as I can see that the care I give to people will never be recognized or appreciated. It will fade in time, and I will just be another tale that a future master of my kind. However, I never did anything at all, so even those stories may never reach anyone's ears. When it rains, the droplets form a ripple where they land. For some, the ripple is large and effects a lot of the others around it. However, for others, the effect ends almost as soon as they make impact. 

Wait! The stories! I don't remember much from them, but I vaguely remember Genova speaking of a master that got lost in the mountains and never heard from again. In fact, as I look around, the snow is too clean for our polluted world. The ripple of the human race hasn't yet spread far around it; I think I know what to do. That is, if I have the chance to do it, as I am currently looking like a football in an algebra II problem. I'll soon hit the ground and deflate like a limp balloon.

I pulled my knees into my chest just as my back his the ground, and I felt like I was being swallowed whole by the coldness around me. Maybe I got it wrong the first time, is this what death feels like? I continued to think that I was slowly dying until my raw skin began to feel damp as well, and I sat up slowly. Instead of being dead as I thought, my body was sitting in a snow drift. This is very interesting; I didn't die from that fall. I can't dwell upon that, though. Even though I didn't die immediately, the fear still looms as long as I sit in these mountains. I need to get moving before hypothermia sets in and I become a human icicle as the story suggests. I pulled my arms into my shirt and continued my walk towards the bottom of the mountain, and I didn't allow myself to relax until I got to a place that was much warmer. My body was beginning the thaw out on the inside, and I was able to focus a lot better on the tale of my ancestors. I can't remember for the life of me what time period this man is from. It must be a civilization that was close to a mountain, but that doesn't exactly help me since there are way too many of those. However, I have to think about my fortune of getting out of those mountains. If I had never done so, I wouldn't be alive. Whoever is in charge of taking care of me above, they've redeemed their ability to do so. I'm ready for whatever challenges come my way and nothing can change that.