The Fragile the Broken and the Brave

62. Without Him

12.10.20

Benji's POV

The hug remained as tight as ever, and I just allowed his long arms to press me against his chest. In the beginning, I had lost hope. I never even realized how much being told you had no chances could demoralize a person. I had defied odds and expectations... I'm stronger that I ever knew. God I sound like one of those overly annoying motivational pop songs that blasts something about you being so beautiful.

Still, the voice of doubt niggled at the back of my mind. What if it was a one time thing? Or even worse, what if I just don't have what it takes to generate my magic up from nothing. I don't have experience cultivating it; mine just kind of developed itself. I know that isn't the normal situation, and I know that I'm not a normal warlock. I don't think I can handle this...

"Boys get to class or get a room!" a teacher called out, and I turned into a tomato. I didn't even notice that the hallways had emptied out until now; I had a huge moment and the world just kept on spinning. Mikey gave me one last squeeze before pulling away, and I looked slightly up into his chocolate brown eyes. The entire world seemed to have stopped, and the only thing left was him. It was always him, from the very beginning. He's been here for me at my worse, and I have wonder why. Doing that takes an exceptional amount of love, and it's not usual to have that for someone. Then again, my father had once mentioned something about a soulmate. Maybe that has something to do with this? I was drawn out of my thought by a quick peck on the lips, and I allowed my mind to jump back to the present. 

"We really should get to class. I don't want you to miss something important. I know that you just got your powers back and probably want to go off and do your own thing, but I still want you by my side."

"That's fine. I like being with you. It makes me feel secure."

He led me farther into the blue wing of the school, and I was surprised by how different it was from my own. Of course, the color was completely different, but it ran deeper than that. There was actual life to this part of the school. Kids were acting like children rather than adults; there was laughter, play, and an overall atmosphere of joy. I didn't realize how much I missed this part of normal school until just this second. Even the teachers are full of life and allowing the classrooms to be better places. It makes me feel as if I'm normal, which isn't always a bad thing. When you walk into red it's like a circus, and when you go to gold it's all scholarly. There's so many expectations of us to be orderly and the most behaved of the school, and even the young ones seem to be so mature acting it hurts. We were forced to grow up too soon; forced to not be kids anymore. "Benji are you alright? You seem to be thinking quite a bit," Mikey fretted, and I turned to give him a reassuring smile. 

"Yeah, I'm totally fine."

We walked into the classroom, and the first thing that came to my attention was that the room was in total disarray. The teacher was running around like a mad man trying to get everyone to calm down and sit in their seats. I saw someone take a running jump and throw a paper airplane right into someone's ear, and in the distance a kazoo sounded like a war cry. However, all of the movement stilled as soon as the first person noticed us standing in the doorway, and I had to wonder if I really had that much power to silence an entire room. "They all saw what you did that day to the demon king. They know what power you hold, and they don't want to get in the way of it," Mikey whispered into my ear, and I nodded slowly.

"I wouldn't hurt them though... Shouldn't they know that?"

"They do. It's also respect for you. Everything you stand for is regal in nature; being rude to you is considered a curse."

"I don't think I understand..."

"You will in time, I promise you. One day, Benjamin, you will surprise yourself with your own powers. You will soon know how amazing you truly are."

"You're just saying that. It's not like I'm the greatest thing to ever walk this earth. There's so many people before me that did the exact same thing, I'm not an exception."

"Actually, you are greater than those before you. Didn't you ever read the book I gave you?"

"What book?"

"The one about the history of our masters idiot."

"Oh uh yeah I have no idea where that went."

"Fine I'll just have to summarize. There's been a running conflict with the leaders of hell since 7000 B.C. It's rarely gotten bad enough that a physical conflict has broken out, but when it does, we've never been appropriately matched. Every time we try, the demons have some technology that's one step ahead of us, and that's actually how a lot of masters die, Genova included. You had enough raw ability and magical ammunition that you were able to take the king out, which will make you go down in history as one of the greats."

"I don't deserve that treatment Mikey. I can't be more special, I don't think I can handle it. These people... I feel like I'm deceiving everyone."

"You aren't. They look up to you and for very good reason."

The feeling of all eyes being on me was way too much for me to handle, and I felt like my mind was about to explode. However, Mikey's firm hold on my arm was enough to keep my grounded, and I was soon able to take a few steps forward. Mikey got the message, and he led me over to his desk in the far back corner. As soon as we were seated, the classroom seemed to return to a more tame version of the way it was before, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Mikey's hand rubbing up and down my back was enough to calm me down the rest of the way. He knows so much about me that I never even had the chance to tell him. I don't know if I could ever live without him in my life. I mean, I must be able to if I lived until now, but to continue now that I know what I'm losing out on is too much. "You would never leave me, right??" I breathed, and his eyes flickered towards me slightly. 

"Of course I never would. You mean everything to me. If I were to leave you, I wouldn't forgive myself. You're everything to me."

"Well that's reassuring."

"I suppose so."

I turned back to the front once the teacher began to speak again, and I was glad that his hand never left my back. I hope it never does... I can't live without him.