𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐞𝐝 || 𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘞𝘪𝘥𝘰𝘸 (1) ✓

𝐭𝐞𝐧.

Revna's POV:

"Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you weren't here?" I asked Yelena softly, the room filliing up with our pillow talking.

"In my village, we were starving. I try not to dwell on things of the past." Yelena explained.

"Then what would you like your life to be like? If you could leave."

"But we can't. The only way we leave this place is if we die or somehow they decide we're good enough to go and do missions."

"Just humor me." I looked over towards her.
Yelena sighed softly, "I'd want to get married, have a few children. I want to explore the world first, though. What about you?"

I licked my lips, thinking of the future I had envisioned for myself and my family. I shrugged as best as I could given the cuffs around my wrists.

"I don't know. I guess I always saw myself being happy with my sister and mother. My father died when I was young so it was just us."

"How did you envision your future?" Yelena asked quietly.

I chuckled breathlessly, a small smile creeping up on my face as I thought of the memories, "Anastasia wanted our houses to be close to each other with an underground tunnel connecting them. We would go to our mothers house on Sundays and have family dinners and eventually Anastasia would introduce her husband to us. I'd bake those little muffins she loved and we would eat them on our front porch while the sun kisses the clouds. It would be pure bliss."

"That sounds lovely." Yelena mumbled, even in the dark I could make out an outline of a smile, "Would you ever want to get married? Have children?"

"Maybe. I would consider it, but I know that I can still live a good life without it."

"Without love? Companionship?"

"I'll get a dog." I joked lightly, hearing the blonde woman giggle. When things calmed down some, I spoke again, "Do you ever think about leaving?"

Yelena sighed heavily, "All the time. But-"

"-Yeah, I know, the only way out is by dying unless we're good enough for missions." I breathed.

"They're changing us, Revna. If I'm going to die I want to still be me, ya know?"

"Yeah." I hummed, reading deeper into what she was saying, "I know."

I didn't want to die here but I felt like I was already too far gone now. I didn't know where I would go if I did escape here, I didn't have the slightest clue on how to even escape out of here. I knew they were changing us, you didn't have to be smart to figure that one out. I could feel myself slipping and as long as I completed my mission of destroying this place, then I didn't care about my mental state.

"Have you ever been in love?" Yelena asked me.

"No. You?"

"No. I'd like to be one day, to fall in love with someone. Here love is for children and feeling anything is a waste of time. I want to experience love at least once before they change me for good."

"Thought you wanted to die still you?"

"I do. But some things just aren't in your cards. This is the hand I was dealt, I'm just playing it out."

"The game of life is a funny thing." I mumbled tiredly, my eyelids starting to close.

"Goodnight, Revna." Yelena cooed softly.

"Night, Yelena." I slurred sleepily, allowing myself to sink furhter into the stiff mattress before I drifted off.

The light in the training room went off, a single spotlight shining down upon the girl I had beaten, her blood still staining the floor it turned black. I saw myself standing over her body, kendo stick in my hand tightly while my chest heaved up and down. I almost didn't recognize myself with the primal look in my eyes, my iris almost a golden yellow.

My gaze found my own as I stalked towards myself,  frozen in my spot as the other me started prowling around me.

"Have you got the blood out of your clothes yet? Washed it off your hands? I'm sure you must have before you had dinner with Dreykov, one of his prized pupils. You're a killer, a savage killer. You should be scared of yourself, everyone here is."

The other me stopped in front of me and pointed the cold barrel of the pistol right between my eyes, the animalistic look in my eyes returning, "You'll kill again, after all that is the only thing you're good at."

The trigger went off and I woke with a start, a light sheen of sweat covering my body. My chest rose and fell while my heart hammered, skipping a few beats. I looked over towards Yelena, seeing her move slightly in her sleep before closing my eyes again.

-

The next morning Yelena and I ate breakfast like we always did and I shared some of my food with her like I always did. The blonde and I were currently lightly sparing. I'd swing and she would duck, throwing a punch towards me and I would block. My body ached with each move I made, my skin slick in a thin layer of sweat.

Yelena swept my feet out from under me and my back hit the floor, a small gasp blowing past my lips. Yelena outstretched her hand for me to take and I grabbed it, pushing myself off the floor while she also helped pull me up.

"You look like you haven't slept." Yelena commented.

"That's because I didn't. Well, not really anyways. I had a nightmare."

Yelena offered me a weak smile, her eyes shimmering with glints of guilt before they turned back to their caramel brown color.

"Belova! Liv!" Dreykov smirked, walking over towards us, "Follow me."

Yelena and I shared a look, my stomach twisting and turning I almost thought I was going to throw up the eggs I had for breakfast. Yelena and I stood on the familiar mats, the other girls lining up to watch and my heart rate sped up, the nightmare I had last night coming towards the front of my mind.

You'll kill again, after all that is the only thing you're good at.

"No." I shook my head, my throat becoming dry as it started to close up, "No I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to kill Yelena."

Yelena's eyes widened and she seemed to catch on to what was happening, Dreykov looking irritated with my behavior.

"I refuse." I said shakily, my palms becoming clammy.

"Fine. Take them away!"