Various Poems

me? (Epilogue)

Crying on Wednesdays, until my existence feels like I'm going to dissappear
The laughing face, hides a dark past reaching out to the real world
The once confident and consistent person, feels like I've faking it all along
Nobody would understand how it feels to be surrounded but still feels isolated
Cannot fit in, no matter how I change, the peculiar person still stays inside
The immortal sadness cannot hurt the scars but continues to bleed the wounds that I've buried long ago.

Deafening speakers, red, folklore and my youth, spins around my head like an eternal disc
Hugged a pillow, never helped, but wore my bath robe with boxers and showered in sorrow
A case of empty beers, never drunk, but feels something heavy in my chest
Shouting silently, trying to get rid of suspicion in the family
Life is easy for a teenager all along.

Spent so many times in dreams, solving murder mysteries and strange kidnappings
Daydreams filled my memory, like talking all about myself, imagining fame and popularity
Talking to no one, like a mediocre interview, and with my boyfriend who don't have a face
The review and reactions, I have kept all to myself
How strange to keep your sanity, writing isn't enough to keep it in tact
Doing lip sync concerts, personal performances and neighbors gossiping my peculiarity
Odd, like numbers
Even, like sevens
Crazy, like Bonnie
Suicidal, like Clyde.

The moment you'll finish this, you might call a mental hospital
Don't worry, I'm not crazy, I'm just a little delusional
Wait, that's what a crazy person would say
At least I think my grammar is right
I found people, other left, other stayed, but despite all of that
It's always been me
Some boys drive me to heaven, some drive me to fantasy
Some girls walk me to hell, some walk me to reality
I thought being alone is actually happy, but little do I know it can drive you crazy and lead you to insanity.