Various Poems

4. Tangerine

My life filled with what-ifs and whatnots
But my heart is intertwined with yours like a knot
I can't accept the fact that I like you and still gives you a cold shoulder
I left you at the gym bleeding, because you weren't picked
To be honest, you are the one that my heart picked
Leaving you alone crying in the storage always makes me feel sick.

I know that you wouldn't miss my kicks
But sure I do miss you every day and that sweaty mist
I miss giving you sets and I'm sure that my heart is yours but you couldn't fetch
I don't know when it started but the only thing that matters is that I couldn't forget
I couldn't forget when we were called lovebirds
The wingless crows and the fallen champions
We showed them wrong, but my treatment to you couldn't get any worse
When I tried saying a compliment it always doesn't go well and it sounds more like a curse
Why does my pride keeps on getting in the way for me to say my feelings to you?
I swear that I like you, but I just couldn't have the strength to tell you to
We fought iron walls and monsters, but when it comes to you the walls are thicker.

Even if we fight, I still pray for your happiness every night
You'll be the tiny giant and I'll be the man that you want for life
To set your spikes, to cause your smiles, to kiss you under the night sky
Please don't despise me, it's just how I treat you to not let you become suspicious of me
Even if you're stupid, your words means the world to me
Even if you're tiny, your existence makes my world complete
I miss you, you stupid brat, I miss you and your smiles and gags
Remember when you hit the ball right at the back my head
That's what it feels when pierced by an arrow but it's in my heart instead
I'm jealous seeing you so lovey-dovey with other setters because I can't
I can't make you my love because I'm a coward, and that makes me someone you don't want.

I guess we're better of as friends, I guess we're better if we are at each other's necks
But your smiles and laughs are my endorphin
Your optimism and positivity keeps me on fighting
But the fight through your heart is the only ball I couldn't set
You shrimp, you tangerine shit, I'm so vulgar and that's something I always regret
I wish I were more sweet, more implicit, in that way your heart is easier to get.

The wooden floor, the deflated ball, the missed phone calls
Where are you? I'm walking around in these empty halls
Yamaguchi says you're at the mall,
I ran faster than your quick attacks
Making sure that the dumplings and rice-balls are still intact
I also decorated the bento box with the color of your vibrant hair
The moment I reached there I looked everywhere
But you're talking to that guy with yellow hair
His mesmerizing eyes are far so different than my terrifying stares
His perfect charms and my temper that couldn't be calmed
Those thick black brows and those sweet words that sounds like wedding vows.

As you walked to the cinemas, your hands intertwined
You are moved, I am doomed, my life became more gloomed
He bent down and kissed your forehead
That's the thing I couldn't forget
It will always haunt me and filled my life with regrets
Thrown the bento box in the garbage bin
That's where my heart has always been
That's why you wouldn't answer my calls
Because you're in a date with him in this fucking mall
It hurts to accept that I'm not the right man for you after all.

Your tangerine hair and those hazel eyes
Will forever be the biggest regret of my life.