Serotonin

30.

I flipped him off and walked to the bathroom. I expected that stupid Halloween costume again but i was wrong. It was a matching bra and panties with high knee sockes, all in bright red.

I put it on and was surprised but the fact that i didn't feel uncomfortable in them.

I drank some water and left the bathroom.

"You still remember my rules, right?" I asked when i entered the room.

He nodded.

"Repeat them for me."

"No touching. It's a one time thing and nothing sexual."

"That's right."

For some strange reason i didn't feel uncomfortable, i felt powerful. The hate that i felt for him righ now kept me from feeling scared.

I walked infront of him with my arms crossed.

He wasn't able to hurt me in any way but i was. I could tease him as much as i wanted.

"I'll put some music on for you. When she music stops you're also allowed to stop."

I could live with that. If i just closed my eyes it would be like dancing alone in my room.

After almost 20 minutes of me dancing around like an idiot the music stopped.

I opened my eyes and looked at him relieved, it was finally over.

"That was good but not enough for me to delete the pictures."

"What do you mean?"  I aksed out of breath.

"I mean exactly what i said. I'm not gonna delete the pictures because i don't yet want you to leave yet."

"You're a fucking asshole. I'm going to the police."

"No you're not because I'll leak those pictures before you'll even think about going to the police."

"I'm leaving." I said as grabbed my jacket.

"You need a ride home?"

I definitely didn't need a ride from him after that little stunt that he pulled.

I shook my head. "No thanks, I'll take the bus."

As i was on the bus back home i turned my location on again. I didn't have any text messages from Luke about it so that was positive.

The house was completely empty when i arrived home. Which i was thankfully for, i didn't want to talk to anyone right now.

I stumbled to my room and fell down on my bed. I was absolutely exhausted.

I felt less disgusted than the first time but it still felt wrong.

I looked at a picture of my dad that I had put on my nightstand.

"I miss you. I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me." I said to picture as felt tears roll down my face.

Not long after i had said that there was a knock on my door.

"Are you awake?" Luke whispered as he entered my room.

"Yes." I whispered back.

"Can't sleep?"

I sat back up so that i could see him better. "I haven't tried yet but i don't think i will be able to sleep."

"What makes you say that?"

"My brain keeps replaying that stupid night. No matter what i try i just can't stop thinking about it."

"I think that it is best for the talk to a therapist. That way you'll get that weight lifted of your shoudlers, talking about it usually helps a lot."

I  nodded. "You're probably right about that but i don't know if i feel comfortable talking to a stanger like that."

"Ashton can give you therapy if you want. He already offered it but i wants to make sure that it was alright with you first."

"Thank you for asking me and not doing things behind me back. I would gladly get therapy from Ashton."

"I'll let him know."

"What's going to happen tomorrow?" I asked knowing that all the guys had to go back to work.

"We'll take you with us to the hospital tomorrow. You can stay in my office or that one of someone else. "

"Can i visit Jasmin?"

"You can vistit her but only for a few hours beacuse she gets overwhelmed very easily. You can also watch a movie, play a game or mabye work for school."

"Work for school?" I said shocked.

"I knew that you have more important things on your mind right now but i don't want you to fall behind anymore than you already are. It doesn't need to be much but you said it yourself this morning, that some distraction won't be bad.

I rolled my eyes back. "I'll try to take a look at it tomorrow. "

He smiled. "Thank you"

"I have something to confess." I said as i figeted with my sheets.

"I'm all ears."

"I didn't sleep last night and now I'm scared that i won't be able to sleep again. "

He gave me a worried look. "Did you have nightmares again?"

I shook my head. "No but my head is just to busy to sleep. Like my body is tired but my mind isn't."

"What kinds of things keep your head busy?"

"A lot of things. My dad, jasmin and even school."

"I'm going to give you some sleeping pills for tonight but i dont want that to be a long term solution. I hope that your brain will calm down a bit after you've talked to Ashton."

"Thank you, i hope it will help."

"I'll be back in a sec." He said before he left the room.

He came back with a glass of water and a sleeping pill.

I had taken sleeping pills before but i didn't recognize the one that he gave me. It probably was a stronger one than those you could get at the drugstore.

I took the pill and drank the entire glass of water.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"  Luke asked when i handed him the glass back.

"Only if you don't mind."

"I absolutely do not. I like the company."

I smiled at and make room for him in my bed.

"Thank you for caring." I whispered to him once he was settled.

"Always." He whispered back.

The sleeping pills definitely helped. As soon as i was comfortable i fell alseep.