Serotonin

45.

I woke up on the couch next to Luke who was still sleeping. I genlty pushed him away and stood up.

I looked at the guys who where all still peacefully sleeping on the couch. I was scared that they would forget about me when i would go back to my dad.

I tiptoed to my room and grabbed my bag. It felt weird to pack knowing that i would probably never come back.

There was a soft knock on then door, Luke was standing in the doorway.

"Need some help?" He asked as he sat down next to me on the floor.

"I'm not ready to leave. It all happened so fast."

"I know it did but your dad wants you to come home. He's waiting for you."

I nodded, i knew that my dad missed me because i missed him too. It was just so hard to say goodbye to everyone.

"What if you guys forget me." I whispered.

"Why would you even think that? Of course we won't forget you. From now on you're in our lives forever."

I smiled at him as i whiped my tears away.

Luke helped me with my bag until there was nothing left to pack. He even trew in a couple his own hoodies which I found really sweet.

"I guess that's it." I whispered as i zipped my bag shut.

He nodded and stood up.

"Let's say goodbye to the other." He said and he offered my his hand.

I nodded and grabbed his hand.

I was already crying by the time i walked into the livingroom.

"I'm going to miss you guys." I said sobbing to all of them.

They where all getting emotional which was only making it harder for me.

"Don't worry we"ll see each other plenty of times. We'll even have sleep overs." Michael said as he hugged me.

"Yeah and I'll text you until your phone blows up." Calum said.

I laughed a little when he said that.

"Thank you all, for being there for me when i needed you. Thank you for letting me stay here."

"No thank you for being here." Luke said as he pulled me closer.

We all had a group hug for atleast 5 minutes. I was the one who eventually broke it up.

"I thinks it's time."

They all nodded as they whiped their tears away.

We all walked to the car together and hugged one last time before i got in.

I waved at them until they where completely out of sight.

Luke and i listened the playlist we had made together during the drive. We both shed a few tears as we thought of the good memories we had.

"We're here." Luke whispered as he stopped infront of my dad's house.

"Promise me that we'll still see each other. "

He out his pinky up. "I pinky promise that We'll still see each other."

I took a deep breath and got out if the car. My dad was already waiting for us and came running towards me.

"I've missed you so much. Welcome home." He said cheerfully.

"Good to be back." I said trying to sound cheerful.

"Thank you for everything." My dad said as he shook Luke's hand.

"You're welcome, it was truly a pleasure."

I gave Luke one last hug before he turned around and drove away in his car.

My dad closed the door and clapped in his hands with a smile on his face.

"I'll make pancakes, diner is in an hour " my dad said with smile.

I smiled back before i walked upstairs to my room. It didn't smell like me anymore, my dad had cleaned it.

I sighed and put my bag down, i already missed Luke's house.

There was an akward silence in this house. When i lived with the guys there was always noise. Now i heard absolutely nothing.

My own room was making me feel uncomfortable to decided to go downstairs.

"There almost ready." My dad said cheerfully as i passed the kitchen.

I gave him a thumbs up and walked into the garden to get some fresh air.

I missed the beautiful garden Luke had when i looked at mine. The size if of wasn't the problem, it was the dead grass and plants. Nobody had bothered to do something with this garden for over a year.

I sighed and sat down on the wooden bench that was almost falling apart. I wondered if this place could feel like home again. I hadn't felt like a real home in so long.

After a few minutes i heard my dad walk up to me.

"You're quiet today. You haven't spoken a word since you're here." My dad said as he sat down next to me.

"I don't know what to say. It feels like everything i would say could bring your bad thoughts back."

"You shouldn't worry about that. Nothing that you say will bring my bad thoughts back."

"You promise?" I aksed as i looked him in the eyes.

"I promise."

"I'm sorry for being so talkative. It was hard to say goodbye the Luke and the rest."

He trew his  arm around my shoulder. "I know it was, those guys took amazing care of you. I don't think that I'll stop thanking them for it."

"Why did you do it?" I asked him.

He paused for a moment and thought about his answer.

"Because it felt like the only way out at the time. I know now that that wasn't the case. It's not something that i don't like to think
back to."

I immediately felt bad for asking. He didn't need to talk to me about it if he didn't want to. A year back i would've probably got mad at him for not wanting to talk but I've changed.

"We should do something about this garden." I said changing the subject.

"Mabye but i think that most plants are already dead. All we can do is remove them."

I sighed and relaxed my head on his shoulder. "It's like things will never go back to how they used to be."

"Don't worry, everything will be back to normal in a few months."