Lost Without You

Ch.6

2 days later...
—————————

Ebony P.O.V

"What are you packing for?" chris asked, eying me weirdly.

I ignored him, continuing to pack my things & amoura's things.

"Hello?" he wave his hand in my face, "Can you hear? Im talking to you."

"I hear you. I just don't want to answer."

"Why not? What have I done?"

I sighed, annoyed with his act, "Stop acting stupid, you know exactly what you did."

"If I knew then I wouldn't be asking you, smart ass."

"So you don't remember raping me?" I ask, tears building up in my eyes.

"What? Raping you? When?"

"When you came home that morning, I was trying to have a conversation with you about the usual but you wasn't hearing it. You thought that all I wanted was some affection which wasn't the case. So you took upon yourself & raped me."

He shook his head, "I really don't remember doing that to you. Like, I must've blanked out because I would never hurt you. Im so sorry."

I sniffled, "Im sorry too, for thinking that I could change you. It's obvious that you need help & I wanted to be the person to help you but I can't be the only one putting in work. I love you but I can't continue doing this to myself."

"Doing what to yourself? I never asked you to stay with me. You knew what you signed up for before I made you my girlfriend! So if you was tired of dealing with me then yo ass should've left a long time ago."

"You're right, I should've but unlike everybody else I actually had faith in you. I believed that if I stuck by your side, showing you that I cared then maybe you would change your behavior. My fault though."

He walked over to the bed, unpacking my clothes, "You ain't leaving me. Ion know what the fuck you thought."

"Stop! I am leaving you! Im sick of dealing with this. You aren't making any effort, it's just getting worse. Im leaving before you hurt me even more."

"Please don't leave." He begged, "I need you. I don't have any one besides you to lean on."

"It's your fault that you have no one. You never listen to what anyone has to say. It's always your way!"

"I promise that I'll change but it takes time." He said, taking more of my clothes out as I continued adding more.

"How much time do you need? It's been a year chris. You need to heal properly & since her death, you haven't been well. I understand that you're hurt but that's just an excuse."

"I can't move on! My daughter is dead & im still adjusting to that. It's practically my fault that she killed herself & I have to live on everyday of my life with that guilt!"

I nod my head, "Which is why you need to be by yourself. Take your time & actually get help. You can't depend on others to make you feel happy again, it's all on you."

"That's how you feel?" He chuckled, "alright, fuck you! I never needed you & I want yo ass out of my house when I come back!"

"Don't worry, both me & my daughter will be gone. When you are stable enough, then I'll bring her back around."

"I don't care about you taking her, You can have the little fuck." He reply, grabbing his keys off the table before leaving the room.

"This exactly why im leaving, my daughter deserves better."

——————————-

Chris P.O.V

I wish everyone would stick by me but no, they always leaving. I can't depend on no one when it comes down to my feelings & I learned that the hard way. They want me to live up to their expectations instead of understanding my point of view.

I can't blame anyone but jai. If she would've never killed herself I wouldn't be like this, I wouldn't be so hurt & selfish. Im so angry at her for making me turn out this way.

I drove into the cemetery, going down the path, leading me to jai's burial. I was here to have a few words with jai & they aren't going to be nice.

It was dark out so it was a little hard to find her but eventually I found her & went inside.

I wasted no time, "I hate you! I hate you for making me like this! I have no one because of you! It's hard for people to deal with me because of how unstable I am! You are the reason for this! Yo stupid ass left me here to deal with this pain & you knew I couldn't handle it! I hate you!"

I took my foot, angrily kicking at her headstone. I kept kicking until I seen a piece of it fall off, "May you burn in hell."

———————-