Memory of the heart #WATTYS2020

The Author's Farewell

Like all farewell notes, they are not entirely a farewell. Memory of the Heart is the biggest writing project I took on so far. It takes me more than seven months to complete, starting February till early September.

During this period, many things have happened locally and globally - Covid-19 pandemic, movement control orders or lockdowns across countries including mine, many people lost their jobs and lives to the pandemic. These are indeed trying times. We need to pray for the world. We need God. 🙏🏻 Without God, I am nothing. I thank Him for giving me strength, grace and good health everyday. ❤️

In the fandom, we have Didi finished filming his fourth drama as ML, and doing reality shows, Yue with her sixth drama as FL, but there is also certain unrest as some shippers are shaken, anxious and doubtful. 😌

On August 19, 2020, the entire fandom was shaken by the video, obviously manipulated by the media. That was the biggest blow to the fandom. I am saddened by how many people were affected by it as they choose to leave their belief in DIYUE. I can't say about others but I am still here. 👍🏻💪🏻

In my personal life, I have been juggling working from home, managing my family and writing. Stealing whatever time I have to write bits and pieces that accumulated to this whole fiction itself. 😊I experienced a full range of emotions- happiness, fulfillment, frustration, disappointment, fear, fatigue, heartbroken and anxiety. 🥺

At times, I seek comfort in reading my own writing. DIYUE always make me happy. But there are also moments when I felt weak and faced with two choices- give up writing or complete it. 🥺

For some reason, there is a strong magnetic force that calls me back each time I take a break. There have also been days where I was completely immersed in the characters and story, emotionally draining me from working.

Both writing and shipping are not for the faint-hearted. 🤪 If you feel you have weak moments, then consider Didi and Yue having their weak times too. I know they are doing their best. I have faith that they are united in their hearts. 💜💛

I miss them just as much as you do but don't let your personal emotions to doubt their relationship. Just because you cannot see the wind, doesn't mean it does not exist. At the same time, it is okay to feel how you feel because we are all human beings. 😌🙏🏻

When you feel weak, remember the receipts they give us. Hou YueDi, blushing Yue on CYLS livestream, Didi's ILIBWIWY Douyin video, and all the matching outfits/ things they have. There is no coincidence with DIYUE/ YUEDI. 💜💛

All the characters in MOTH have a special place in my heart. I decided not to write individual farewells because it will break my heart. I apologize if this story is not what you expected, or if you're uncomfortable talking about life and death. Choose a fluffy fiction next time!😝

I personally love the depth of MOTH. Maybe it reflects the depth of my own soul. 😌

Do you know when I started writing it, I DID NOT plan to make it a Japanese-Chinese fusion story? But it happened. I took up the challenge. And I am a happy girl. 😍🌸👘🍙🍣🍱🍥🍤🥃🍵🍦🎎🎏⛩🗻🏯🚄🥋🇯🇵

Thank you for reading. Truly, thank you. 🙏🏻 Million times thank you. ❤️ 3000 times. 😘🥰 No words can express how much I appreciate you for staying till the last page of this story. It's been an honor. I'm not sure if I'm ready to write another long fiction like this but never say never!

Thank you Wang He Di and Shen Yue for being my muse. 🥰 I wish that someone will use this story, translate it to a script and make it a movie or drama. Or any of my fictions. But with one condition. The leads have to be our babies. 😂

Watashi wa aishiteru. Arigato. Jaa Ne!

💜💛 Hsien
First draft 7.6.2020
Final edit 6.9.2020
Published 8.92020