Once More With Feeling ZAINTSEE AU

Alone Together

Saint and Zee had a lovely meal at the restaurant. It was quiet and with the soft music and candle light there was a lovely relaxed, romantic atmosphere. They agreed to not talk about anything related to the up coming case and instead focused on the positive things in their lives. Lee came up in the conversation a lot as both men adored the boy equally. "When everything is sorted, I'd like to take you and Lee away somewhere to say thank you for all you've done for me." Saint said with a smile sipping his second glass of wine. "We're your family!" Zee said taking Saint's hand. "You don't have to thank us for anything!"

Saint could feel himself welling up.
"I know I don't have to but I want to..." he looked away shyly "I'm honoured that you think of me as family." Saint said blushing. Zee shook his head "Saint, Lee loves you and you know I'm in love with you so of course we're your family. If you want us I mean..." Zee said squeezing Saint's hand. "YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME?" Saint shouted a lot louder than he intended. Zee's face turned bright red as he realised what he'd said but he decided to brave it out. "Yeah... I thought you knew that. I mean I've said it before right?" He said knowing full well he'd never said it quite that way before.

Saint mind was stuck on a loop of "I'm in love with you." Sure he and Zee had said they loved each other all the time but that wasn't the same as being IN love with someone. He sat at the table gaping like a fish at Zee unsure of what to say. "I'm sorry if I scared you Saint." He said quietly avoiding Saint's eyes, "You don't have to say it back or anything, there's absolutely no pressure on you to reciprocate. I just needed you to know..." Zee said sadly. "I'm going to head to bed now. I get it if you need some space." He finished standing up and paying the bill, leaving Saint sat alone at the table.

Saint sat there for a few minutes longer then decided to go for a stroll around the church yard. His brain was still refusing to cooperate which was frustrating. He knew he loved Zee. That was a given. Nothing in the world could ever change that. And yes the kissing had been nice... OK so maybe more than nice, maybe they'd been the best kisses of his life but did that mean he was in love with Zee? He just didn't know and it was driving him nuts. He pulled ouy his phone and dialled his Ma. He spoke to her for a few minutes under the pretense of checking up on Lee but she was smart and soon asking him what he'd really called for.

Saint took a deep breath. "Ma Zee is in love with me." He said waitng for her reactions. "Yes..." she replied "And?" Saint grunted in frustration "And? AND?" he shouted. "You aren't surprised?" He asked more softly. Ma chuckeled at this. "Saint my boys have been in love with each other for a long long time. Of course I'm not surprised. Well I guess I'm surprised how long it took you guys to work it out." She said with a giggle. "You think I'm in love with him too?" He said shocked. "Since when?" He asked, genuinely curious. "Since forever, my beautiful silly boy. You've always looked at him like he hung the moon. None of your boyfriend's have ever really matched up to him and you were never shy about telling them that Zee and Lee came first." She said with a small sigh.

Saint could feel the tears falling. "Oh God Ma, I'm in love with Zee! What am I going to do?" He asked weeping. "Hush now baby!" She said. "You don't have to do anything, if you don't want to. You can leave things exactly as they are." She continued. "Or, and this isn't the easy option, you can try opening your heart to him and give yourself a chance to have the love you deserve." She finshed smiling, hoping her baby boy would be happy with what ever he decided. "I want to try Ma but I'm so scared. What if we break up and I lose him and Lee?" He asked, he couldn't live without them, he knew that much. "That's just the risk you have to take my love. Honestly I think there's nothing that could break my two boys apart, but again it's your decision to make."

Saint cried a little more before saying good bye and hanging up. Zee made it clear he'd accept any form of relationship with Saint and while he wasn't sure he was ready for a full sexual relationship Saint knew that he loved kissing Zee, that he loved how safe and cherished he felt in Zee's hands and that he couldn't imagine ever sleeping without being wrapped in Zee's arms. He just didn't know if he was brave enough to say all of this to Zee. 'Screw it!' He thought. 'I deserve to be happy and so does Zee." He said to himself as he marched himself up to their room.

By the time he reached their front door all of his bravado was gone and Saint took a while to even attempt knocking on the door. Before he plucked up the courage to do anything Zee opened the door and walked right into Saint. "Ooof..." Zee said, grabbing Saint in his arms to stop him falling. "See! You're like a damned statue!" Saint said leaning into to Zee's embrace. "I was coming to look for you because I was worried." Zee confessed. "I'm so sorry Saint." Zee said sadly. "Let's talk inside ok?" Saint said kissing Zee's cheek.

Zee sat down on the bed feeling absolutely terrified. He couldn't lose Saint it would kill him. "I'm sorry Zee..." Saint began and Zee burst out crying. "Please don't leave me Saint." He begged, hugging Saint's legs. "Zee! I was apologising for not replying and running away! Of course I'll never leave you!" He said stroking Zee's hair. Zee sniffled and looked up at Saint. "Well now I feel extra stupid." He said avoiding looking at Saint. "That makes two of us.' Saint began. "Imagine having  to be told by your mother that you've been in love with your best friend for years..." he said with a small laugh.

"That was easier to say than I thought it would be!" Saint said smiling. Zee stared at him and stood up "What?" Zee said "Are you sure? You don't have to say it back you know?" He continued. Saint cupped his cheek. "I know you'd never make me do or say anything I didn't want to Zee and I am 100% sure that I have always loved you and at some point, I don't know when, I fell in love with you." He gently kissed Zee's lips. "I know this is the worst timing in the world and I'm a broken mess most of the time, but if you're still in love with me and willing to be patient when it comes to physical stuff..." he said staring deeply into Zee's eyes "... then I'd love it if you'd be my boyfriend. I already love Lee more than life itself so I know I can at least continue being his uncle..."

Zee picked Saint up and spun him around then quickly put him down. "Oh God sorry I'm so dumb I just got so excited that you want to be my boyfriend I... I... Sorry!" He said but Saint was giggling like an idiot. "It's fine. I love my boyfriend, dumb or not. Now come on I want to shower then cuddle in bed." He said kissing Zee.