Once More With Feeling ZAINTSEE AU

A Step In The Right Direction

Saint was feeling bolstered after Zee's speech, he guessed he needed to be kinder to himself. He was so grateful to have Zee in his life, he couldn't think of anyone else who would be willing to snuggle on demand. They'd been sat in the living room, doing this and that on their laptops, when Saint decided to have a break for a bit and count his blessings starging with Zee. He was disrturbed  by the door bell. Because they weren't expecting anyone Saint could feel himself start to panic. What if it was his friends wanting an explanation? Or what if it was Matt come to get him? Zee was obviously not thinking of the possible dangers because he actually answered the door. Saint was trying to think of how he could break the coffee table to get some sort of weapon, when Zee walked back in carrying a package. "Your new phone is here." Zee announced with a smile, handing the box to Saint.

Saint teied to take slow calming breaths but he could feel tears threatening to fall. How did a door bell ringing become a threat in his mind? Zee must of noticed something was up with Saint as seconds later he sat on the sofa next to him, rubbing his back in calming circles. "Are you ok Saint?" Saint shook his head. "The door bell it... I mean I just panicked... about who was at the door because no one told us... and I forgot about my phone... and..." Zee put his arm around Saint's shoulder and interupted him by saying "It's fine Saint.  You don't have to talk right now. Just focus on your breathing." Saint did as he was asked. "What you have to remember," Zee said softly. "is that no matter who comes to the door, you are safe."

Saint listened to Zee's voice and leaned in closer. He did feel safe with Zee next to him. "I know." He sniffed. "I just panicked for a second then I couldn't stop." God this anxiety was a real bitch, Zee thought to himself. He was thinking of what to say next when Saint's stomach rumbled loudly. "But you made it through the panic, which is brilliant!" He said with a smile. "I think you deserve a nice lunch as a reward. What ever you want." Saint couldn't help but return Zee's warm smile. He asked for Zee to cook him his favourite noodles.

Zee pottered around the kitchen for a while before he realised he was missing a few of the ingredients for Saint's request. He had a delivery coming tomorrow with more supplies but there were a few bits he would need today, plus he had to pick up Saint's new medicine. He knew that their friends and family would be working tody so he had no one to ask for help. There was no way for Saint to come with him unless he waited in the car but Zee doubted that would help his anxiety. Plus he would be much safer in the house where the doors and windows could be secured. Zee just wasn't sure if Saint would be OK with being alone in the house for a while.

Zee headed back into the living room and found Saint playing with his new phone. He watched as Saint, who was wearing a huge smile, dialled a number and pressed call. Just as Zee was wondering who was making his Saint so happy,  his own phone began to ring in his pocket. "Hello?" He answered "Who is this?" He continued trying to sound serious. "It's your best best friend in the universe!" Saint said turning to look at him. Now he knew Zee had his new number Saint hung up. "That was so weird Saint..." He said trying to maintain a straight face. He sat down next to Saint. "...Joss just called me and hung up abruptly. Should I be worried?" Saint was about to scream at Zee but decided to be the mature one for a change, he grabbed the cushion next to him and whacked his best friend around the head.

Once they'd finished laughing Zee told Saint about the situation. "So you need to go out?" Saint said. "That's ok. I'll just come with you..." he continued trying to stand up only for the pain in his feet forcing him to sit down. "Shit." He said realising the situation fully. He took a moment to think. "Alright then, I'll just stay here and wait." He told Zee. "If I need you I can call you right?" Zee was so unbelievably proud of the man in front of him. He knew how hard it was to have have to fight your own brain and here Saint was being so brave yet again. "That's right." He said smiling. "I'll only be 15 minutes then I'll be right back. We can chat the whole time if that helps?" He offered.

Saint thought about Zee's offer but refused it in the end telling Zee he would be fine. He was relying on Zee for so much he wanted to be able to at least do this one little thing to prove to himself he was still Saint. That he was Zee's best friend not just someone Zee had to nurse 24 hours a day. Zee decided to take Saint at his word and head out. He made sure Saint had everything he needed then rushed out. The whole time he was out Zee couldn't stop thinking about Saint, wondering what he was doing, if he was ok, if he was missing Zee as much as Zee was missing him... That last thought had Zee shaking his head. 'Get a grip!' He told himself. 'You've only been apart for 10 minutes!'

Zee finished the shopping in record time, while checking his phone every few minutes. By the time he got back to the house he was a ball of nervous energy, desperate to make sure Saint was ok. He rushed in to the living room to find Saint on his phone exactly where he left him. "Oh Ma, Zee just got back so I'll let you go." He said nodding as she spoke back. "Zee Ma says she loves you and she'll be back to see us when Lee comes home." Zee smiled then said loudly "Love you too Ma! Take care." Saint finished the call then explained that he had text Ma so she would have his new number and she'd just called to say hello while she had a short break. After a few seconds he gave Zee a funny look. "Why are you staring like that?" he asked wrinkling his brow. Zee just shrugged and said "I'm just proud of you, that's all." He said softly. Saint tried to down play it but he was quite pleased with himself. "It's a step in the right direction I guess..." he said shyly. "Now go cook! I'm starving!" He finished with a pout. Zee smiled then saluted. "Yes sir." He said, as he walked into the kitchen smiling.