Saint and Zee have been best friends since 1st year of university. Saint was Zee's best man when he married Kara. A few years later, when their son was born, he was made little Lee's God father. When the unthinkable happened and Kara died, Saint was...
Saint hadn't slept. All night he lay in Zee's arms imagining everything that could possibly go wrong today. He couldn't decide if the worst case scenario was the more realistic one where Matt got found not guilty on all charges and was let free to terrorise him again and finished what he'd started. Or the less likely but equally terrifying scenario where Matt some how escaped from his room in the court, found out where Saint was, overpowered Zee and then finished what he'd started. His brain very unhelpfully provided vivid images of what could happen if either scenario came to be.
Zee hadn't slept either, he was constantly there for Saint. Holding him tight and trying to convince him that everything would be OK. If he was honest he was trying to convince himself of the same thing, but he decided even if the out come didn't go the way it should, Saint would never be in danger again. He would kill Matt before that happened again. Zee had always loved Saint but now his feelings had changed to being in love with Saint the urge to protect him was even stronger than it had been before and where he'd been able to stop himself when hitting Matt last time, this time he knew it would take divine intervention to stop him.
When the sun slowly rose and beamed in through the curtains both men gave up on even pretending to try and sleep and headed to the kitchen for coffee. "I'm going to try to be positive now." Saint said as he sat down. "I have a feeling we'll be needing a lot of this today." Zee said stiffling a yawn. "I'll make sure I bring lots of change for the drinks machine." He said faking a smile. He placed Saint's mug down in front of him and squeezed his shoulders before sitting down next to him. "Zee, what if..." Saint began. Zee put his finger over Saint's lip so he couldn't finish that statement, replacing it with with his lips a moment later.
"Drink your coffee love." Zee said as he pulled away. "No more what if's my love, we're being positive now." He finished staring lovingly into Saint's eyes. Saint leaned over and gently returning the kiss. "You're right" he said. Saint said he wasn't in the mood for breakfast but Zee gently persuaded him to have something, anything, to put a lining on his stomach so he wouldn't be hungry or feel faint later. In the end Saint agreed to a bowl of porridge with honey which eased Zee's mind a little. He whipped it up in no time cutting up a strawberry to make a heart shape for the center of Saint's bowl.
Zee served up their breakfasts before sitting next to Saint, today more than ever he felt the need to be close to the man he loved. Upon seeing the heart in his bowl Saint promptly burst into tears. Zee was hugging him within seconds. "Saint, baby, what happened?" He whispered into Saint's ear. "Nothing..." Saint said with a sniff "It's just that I don't deserve you." He said pulling Zee closer. Zee pulled Saint until he was sat on his lap. "You deserve the whole damn world Saint. You deserve everything that is good. I'm so lucky that I get to have you in my life and even luckier that you love me back. So please don't say you don't deserve me because the only thing you don't deserve is to be unhappy." He whispered pressing tiny butterfly kisses all over Saint's cheek.
When Saint finally managed to stop crying he nudged Zee. "Thank you Zee, I couldn't do today without you." He said meaning every word. Zee hugged Saint again and said "You could do it without me, I know that. But I'd never let you, just like you'd never let me." He said. Tears were threatening to fall again so Saint stood up and headed to the shower. "I love you." He said as he disappeared to get ready. Zee did the dishes feeling relieved that Saint had at least eaten a few bites of his porridge. He got lost cleaning up, distracting himself with tasks that didn't need doing but were good for killing time.
When Saint finally came out, fully dressed, Zee wanted to cry. He looked so young and vulnerabl that Zee could feel his heart breaking.
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"I'll go get ready now." Zee said trying to keep his face neutral.
They drove to the court in complete silence. Saint's nerves were so bad he thought he might vomit if he opened his mouth and Zee didn't want to force Saint into conversation so the silence carried on for the entire ride. Once they pulled up to the carpet near by, Zee turned to Saint "I want you to keep focusing on your breathing for me ok?" He said stroking Saint's cheek. "And if your thoughts get noisy and you can't THINK them away the way Lauren showed you then promise me you'll talk to me." Saint smiled sadly. "Ok Dad..." he said trying to make a joke. Zee smiled along "Ok let's go I'm being a worrier again." He said getting out of the car.
They headed to the main entrance and waited outside for Saint's lawer. Harriet arrived moments after they did and guided them inside. She asked them both if they had any questions and when they both said no she took them to the room where Saint would be giving video evidence. The panic was evident on Saint's face as he clung to Zee's hand, his knuckles turning white. "Oh for a change I have some good news, seeing as we had your concent to speak to Lauren..." Harriet began. "...I asked her what her thoughts were on you being alone in the evidence room and as she strongly advised against it, the judge has now said that Zee can come into the room with you if you like?"
Saint burst into tears, he was totally freaking out about having to be apart from Zee for even a little while and now he didn't have to. "I would definitely like that." He said between sobs. "You're doing so good baby." Zee whispered handing Saint a tissue. "Ok then come on in and get settled we're due to start in half an hour so we have time for a coffee." Harriet said with a reassuring smile. She opened the door and led them in.
