Once More With Feeling ZAINTSEE AU

No Going Back

Saint slept until almost noon when the rumbling from his stomach woke him up he debated not moving a muscle as all the pain from last night came flooding back. If the physical pain wasn't bad enough the emotional pain was getting worse, he was terrified of Matt finding him and hated himself for feeling so weak. A million negative thoughts began swirling around his head. Like how he should have been able to fight Matt off, or that if he'd left the first time that bastard raised a hand to him he wouldn't have been in this situation. Plus Zee had tried to warn him about Matt from the very beginning and if he would have listened he wouldn't be stuck in hospital now. In fact he wouldn't blame Zee if he left Saint here and never wanted to speak to him again. That was the worst thought of all, Saint could lose almost anything in his life but the thought of losing his best friend and his God son was more terrifying than dealing with 100 Matts. He opened his eyes, mainly to chase away the negative thoughts that were threatening to overwhelm him.

He was expecting to be alone but instead was greeted by not one but two sets of eyes lovingly watching him. The first was Zee and the second was his mother, Nira. He suddenly forgot how much pain he was in and reached for her. Tears began falling of their own accord. "Ma I'm so sorry, you shouldn't have to see me like this. I'm sorry for worrying you. I'll be ok I promise." He babbled between hiccuping sobs. "Oh baby why are you apologising? The only one who should be sorry is that monster for doing this to you!" Nira squeezed him gently as she tried to hold back tears of her own. Saint breathed in the scent her familiar perfume and tried to steady his brething.

"Now come on son, no more tears now. We're going to get you back on your feet and if I ever see that piece of shit I'll break his neck!" Nira said trying to cheer her son up. Zee huffed a laugh at Nira's bluntness it was one of her many traits he loved. "And you Zee." She said in a serious tone. "How long has it been since you saw me and Saint is the only son who hugs his Ma?" She had basically adopted Zee when he and Saint had met in University. With his own family living in a different country he had been pretty lonely but Nira had welcomed her son's friend with open arms and now she was just as much his family as Saint was. Nira moved one arm that was wrapped around Saint so Zee could join in on the hug. "Sorry Ma." He said softly hugging her and Saint.

With all the negative thoughts quieted for now Saint let himself enjoy the hug before the rumbling of his stomach interupted them. "Typical Saint," his mother joked "his stomach ruining a perfectly lovely moment." She ruffled his hair before kissing his head and releasing him and Zee from her embrace. "It's a good thing Zee knows you so well and brought plenty of porridge. I'll go heat it up before you start trying to eat your pillow." With that she left the room to find a microwave.

Saint couldn't help but smile, his Ma was the best. Plus Zee hadn't left! Saint had hoped he wouldn't blame him for what had happened but he could understand if he had. If he had just... "Stop that." Zee said pulling him out of his thoughts. "What ever stupid things that are going around that brain of yours, stop it. What ever happens you'll always have us and Lee. There's nothing we can't get through together, you know that. So stop it." Sometimes Saint wondered how Zee could read him so easily when others found him a complete mystery. "I wasn't..." Saint began to lie, but one look at Zee informed him that his best friend wasn't falling for any of his bullshit. "Ok." He conceded "I'll try." Thank God he had his little family, he didn't know what he'd do without them.

The door opened and Nira entered closely followed by the nurse. The nurse promised to be quick, she just wanted to let Saint know what was going on. All his results had come in and apart from a fractured eye socket, a lot of bruising and some damage to his feet from running with no shoes on, he was fine. They were keeping him in one more night so he could rest and they coukd make sure he wasn't dehydrated then he could go home. Nira and Zee thanked her but Saint was frozen. He could go home? Home? How could he go back there? It wasn't home any more it was the place where Matt almost... Almost...

"Saint? Saint? What's wrong? It's ok we're here. Can you just breathe for me?" Zee's voice broke through his spiralling thoughts. "I'm never going back there." Saint all but shouted, panting. "Going where?" Zee asked cautiously, not wanting to upset his friend any more. "Back to the place where Matt..." Zee didn't let him finish that sentence "You never have to go there ever again if you don't want to. You're coming home with me until you're feeling better or sick of the sight of me, ok?" Saint let Zee's words sink in. "Really? What about Lee? I won't have him being scared of me looking like this..." Saint would give his life for that kid and if he scared him he'd never forgive himself.

Zee held Saint's hand, he loved how much Saint loved his son. Since Kara had died he'd basically become a second parent to him and their bond made his heart swell. "Hey it's fine. He's with Kara's mum for a few weeks already so by the time he comes back from his holiday you'll be practically healed." He said with a smile. "Unless you don't want to hang out with your best friend..." he said pretending to sniffle. Saint gave him one of his genuine smiles even though it hurt his face. "I guess I could stand your shitty humour for a little while..." Nira stood back and watched the scene before her, her worries melting away. She knew Saint would be safe as long as he was with Zee, they were always better together.