Once More With Feeling ZAINTSEE AU

Working it Out

By the time Saint woke up Zee had arranged for Lee to have a sleep over at a friend's house and had let Nira know what had happened. His appointment Claire had seen what was happening and simply messaged him saying if there was anything they needed she was there. Saint looked up at Zee and remembered what had happened, he hugged Zee tightly feeling relieved it was all finally over. "Hey!" Zee said softly "How are you feeling?" He asked, stroking Saint's back. "Pretty destroyed to be honest." Saint said, sighing. Zee didn't want to push Saint too hard but there was something he had to know. "Did he hurt you? Physically I mean? I feel so bad for letting you answer the door." He explained.

Saint closed his eyes "Don't feel bad" Saint said "It's not your fault and I'm fine I promise. He tried to grab me, saying he was taking me home but I screamed and pulled away and fell backwards on to the stairs. My back is a little bruised I think but other than that I'm OK. Thank you so much for saving me Zee." He finished wiping away a tear, he dreaded to think what Matt would have done if he'd succeeded in pulling him away. Zee squeezed him closer and Saint relaxed into his embrace. "Wait what time is it? We need to get Lee!" He said feeling panicked. "It's fine! He's having a sleep over at his friends so we can have a relaxing evening." Zee said. "Shall I cook for us and we can just watch a movie?" He asked.

"It's yes to the cooking of course," he said with a small smile "but can we work out some more instead of the movie?" Zee consided it for a while, he needed to let off some steam himself. "Sure," he replied. "So, food or work out first?" Zee asked the big bundle in his lap. Saint contemplated for a moment then said "Let's work out." Saint said climbing out of Zee's lap, he was trying so hard to keep himself together. He was scared and upset but the more time went on the more angry he got. Angry with Matt, angry with the world but mostly angry with himself. Why did he have to put up with him for so long? Why did he have to be so weak? "I'm going to change..." Saint said heading to the bedroom.

Zee still had his workout clothes on from earlier when he was waiting for Claire, so he headed to the kitchen and grabbed some water for them then waited for Saint. Saint came a few minutes later and they headed to the gym. "So we're going to do the same work out then you can tell me what you want to focus on ok?" Zee was trying so hard not to fuss over Saint or make him talk about things he wasn't ready to so he decided to just let Saint guide everything. They warmed up until they were both covered in a sheen of sweat. "I want to hit something." Saint said taking a gulp of his water. Zee could see the tension in Saint's body and the anger simmering in his eyes.

"Alright," he said wrapping Saint's hands hand putting on his boxing gloves. "Show me what you can remember from this morning." Zee said putting his padded hands up. Once he was sure Saint had a good grip on the punches, he guided him over to the bag. "You can do 10 minutes on this but don't over do it" he said "I'm going to do some stuff and watch ok?" Saint didn't reply he simply started punching the bag. Zee moved to the padded mat and removed his pads. He decided to start with sit ups, he did twenty then moved on to planks. He watched as Saint's punches got harder and harder, wanting to intervene but knowing that Saint had to work through some things on his own.

The anger was getting worse inside him, Saint could feel himself about to erupt. He wouldn't let himself be weak any more. He wouldn't let himself be scared, he'd work and work until he was strong enough to not be a burden to Zee. Every punch he landed he imagined was hitting Matt's face. "Uhh" he shouted as his fist connected. How dare that bastard hurt him. "Uh!" He said louder. How dare he waste so much of Saint's time and love. "HOW FUCKING COULD YOU!" He finally screamed raining blow after blow on the bag. "Why am I so fucking stupid and pathetic?" He cried still punching. "Who's going to love someone so fucked up?" He sobbed slumping to the ground.

That was all Zee could take, he ran to Saint and trued to hug him but Saint pushed him away. "Stop being so nice to me Zee." He wept. "Why do you keep on saving me?" He cried. Zee knew Saint was just lashing out because he was hurt so he remained calm. "Because you saved me so many times, it's finally my turn." Zee said softly. "Stop talking like that!" Saint shouted back. "Stop making it sound like I'm a good person!" He cried. Again Zee kept his voice soft. "Because you are a good person." He responded. "Then tell me why Zee? What did I do to deserve what he did?" Saint said trying to get to his feet, he felt too exposed and like he needed to run away.

Zee could see that Saint was spiralling and he didn't know what to do so he stood up beside him. "You did NOTHING Saint. Do you hear me? NOTHING! It's not your fault there is NO justification for what that monster did. You are a good person and you deserve the world." Zee said trying to gauge Saint's state. Saint needed Zee to stop saying nice things, he lashed out but Zee caught him in his arms. "If I'm such a good person, why am I doing this?!" Saint screamed and plunged forward kissing Zee like he was starved for it.