Wanderlust

It's complicated

POV Kate

I’ve never been in love before. I’ve had a couple highschool boyfriends and a few friday night hook ups, but they were never anything serious. None of those entanglements kept me up at night. I didn’t think about any of those people 24/7. I’ve never felt this way before, but Meg? Meg has some special effect on me. She puts my planet in orbit and makes me feel like anything is possible. I’d do anything for her, and for once, it’s not one sided. When I thought I lost her, my whole world collapsed and I could feel my soul leave my body. I felt like everything I ever wanted was slowly being ripped away from me. Now that I have her in my arms, I never want to let go. I never want to risk losing her again. I can’t keep denying my feelings for her. Ever since Meg gave me the letter expressing her feelings, it’s been harder and harder to hide mine. My love for her is inevitable, and trying to fight it will only make it stronger. It’s time to come clean. She’s my rock, and I need her to know that. 

After we had sex, Meaghan told me she loved me, then fell asleep. It was pretty early in the day and I had just woken up, but I assumed she was probably tired of the hospital beds, so I let her sleep. She laid her head on my chest while I rubbed her back and occasionally kissed the top of her head. She let out little sighs and whimpers every once in a while, and she scrunched her nose every time she did. She was so adorable and beautiful; I couldn’t help but stare. She gave me butterflies and it felt like time stopped when we were together. She eventually started to wake up, so I took it as an opportunity to tell her how I feel.

“Good morning sleepy head. Did you have a nice nap?” I smiled from above her as she aggressively blinked and rubbed her eyes. 

“Huh?” She finally opened her eyes and let them adjust to the light. I laughed at her confusion and kissed her head while she snuggled back into my chest. “It’s too early for this shit.”

“Bub, it’s 1:30 in the afternoon.”

“Yeah, exactly! That’s way too early.” She grabbed the white comforter that rested on her torso and pulled it over her head. I rolled my eyes and joined her under the covers.

“You can’t hide from the fact that you have to wake up.” I teased. She grumbled and nuzzled her face into the mattress. 

“Goodbye.”

“Actually, before you go hide in your blanket fort, I want to talk to you about something.” She rolled onto her side and looked at me.

“Okay, first of all, this isn't a blanket fort, this is just a blanket. Forts are waaay cooler!” Oh my god. I’m in love with a toddler. I sighed and gave her a sarcastic smile. “What do you wanna talk about?” She propped herself up on her arm and gave me her full attention. 

“Remember how I told you I liked you and then your sister zoned me?”

“It was just a joke! I was joookiiing! ” 

I laughed and continued. “I’ve been trying to hide my feelings, but I just can’t anymore. I love you. And I need you. And I want to be more than friends.” She sat up completely and put her arm around me, prompting me to rest my head on her shoulder. 

“I love you too. I finally realized that. But I’m just not ready for a relationship. It’s complicated, but basically, my ex fucked me up. Yeah, I’m over her, but I’m not over what she did to me. I haven’t completely healed yet and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us for me to get in a relationship while I’m still broken. I wouldn’t be able to give you what you need, and you don’t deserve that. I want nothing more than for you to be happy. I’m just not ready. I’m sorry.” I wanted Meaghan more than anything in the world, so yeah, I was disappointed. But I also care about her more than anything in the world, so I respected that and understood where she was coming from. Her mental health should always come first, and I’m glad she’s taking care of herself. 

“That makes total sense. I'm proud of you. This is amazing progress.” I leaned in to kiss her, but I pulled away, scared that I was going to make her uncomfortable. She noticed and grabbed my face, slowly getting closer until our lips met. 

“I’m so in love with you, and I can’t wait until we get to be together. You’re my everything.” She smiled as she told me this, and I’ve always loved her smile, but this time I loved it even more. I can’t wait for the day I get to call her mine. 

We heard a knock at the door and we both jumped. Meg let out a little scream and we heard Kylie and Kasper laughing from the other side. 

“Can we come in?” They asked, between laughs. I looked at Meg and saw that she had a sports bra and sweatpants on, while I had nothing but a lace bra and the bed sheets. We were both flustered and I stumbled to get my clothes. Kylie and Kasper’s laughs intensified as they realized what was going on. I tossed Meg her shirt and threw my clothes on quickly. I leaped towards the door and unlocked it, opening it to my sister doubled over laughing.

“Dude! You did it in my house?” Kasper teased Meg as I glared at Kylie. Meg was embarrassed and I was slightly sheepish, but this wasn’t the first time my sister’s caught me in the act. Meg shooed them out of the room and we met them downstairs shortly after. 
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This is just a short filler chapter. I have an idea for the next big plot line, but I need some more character development before we get there, so the next few chapters are probably just gonna be fillers. Don't forget to vote and comment!