Then it is December. I am still a soldier. A soldier running out of time? I am to deploy back to the US in mid-January. Horst will be coming for Anja before then.
I know Horst is coming soon because Anja has told me that. It strikes fear in my heart. What will I have left here in Berlin? What would there be to keep me here?
Because the time draws near, for Horst, we have put our love on hold. Anja needs to fulfill the suche (quest for closure). Even if we were to kiss, that could ruin the suche.
We have created our own way to kiss... our rings. When one of us has this need, that one raises her right hand, palm against her heart, showing the ring—my turquoise, her coral. And then the other girl does the same with her ring. This means forever love. Unless Anja chooses Horst.
I do not feel slighted. I am set to return to the US. How can that be fair for Anja, to leave her in that uncertainty?
But in December, we have many close calls. There are times I need her so much—I gently touch my ring to her face. But she is strong... holds firm. And many times, she seeks me with her eyes, her breath—and I resist—for her, and for us.
It is a languid Saturday evening: we are sitting in the Cozy Club near Thielplatz before the band begins. We are talking about love.
Out of nowhere, Anja asks me if I have ever truly been in love before. I look at her like I just saw a ghost! I can't even speak. We have talked about true love... so many times!
She looks over, seeing this surprise I am showing, and she laughs quick and sweet!
She touches my hand, her eyes look at me softly, wistfully, piercing my heart, and says this to me, as though giving me the most important lesson I will ever learn: "Die Liebe, die du nimmst, ist gleich der Liebe, die du machst" (the love you take is equal to the love you make). Which is from Abbey Road.
I raise my right hand, palm to my heart... she raises hers. We share this joy... eyes drawn to our lover's ring. True love.
The band begins and our conversation dissolves away into the music.
Later, as we are leaving the club, I hear the band lead singer:
"Oh! Darling, if you leave me
I'll never make it alone",
And then we pass through the door into the crowded sidewalk and, though I can't hear it anymore, I feel the power of the song knocking like a warning into my head.
And then the unimaginable happens.
YOU ARE READING
The Wall Crossers
Non-FictionStep into the captivating world of "The Wall Crossers," a spellbinding tale set against the backdrop of Cold War-era West Berlin in 1971 and 1972 to the latter half of the 21st century, from Berlin to Bhutan. This narrative weaves together the lives...
