The Wall Crossers

Wed 12 Jan - 8:15am, Andrews: Saying Goodbye to a Friend - Olivia's perspective

Before I sign out of the Company, and before I get on the bus for the airport, I first have an errand—I have to say goodbye to and ask a favor of my friend Mogie. I walk down to supply unit which is located on the barracks building first floor, where he is in charge. As I near I reflect on how we bonded over being hot-war veterans, but little else.

I recall how a short time after I met him, I had asked him what he did when he served with the First Cav. He said, "Not much." When he asked me what I had done in the First Division, I said, "Not much." That I how veterans answer who are not exaggerating.

I asked him once why he stayed in the Army, he replied, "'cause it's like cruising in a submarine." Which I could not understand, and he did not try to explain.

I find Mogie where he always is, sitting in his cage, busy sorting gear like nothing else matters. His hands work calmly, flipping through items, and he doesn't see me at first when I enter. I don't expect him to say much, no matter what I might say.

"Mogie?" I say, clearing my throat.

He finally looks up, "Sister Olive-Oh."

"I am going back to the World (US) today, friend. I will miss you."

He stops his work to stare at my forehead, eyes as unreadable as ever, then nods. "For sure," he says, setting down the gear he's been working on.

"For sure," I echo back. I pull up a stool and sit across from him. "Guess I'll be stateside tomorrow. Feels weird to leave here after so long, you know?"

Mogie just looks at me, nodding slightly. "Where's home?"

"North Carolina for now... for a while. Then maybe I'll figure things out." I pause, studying his face. "What about you? Ever think of going back to... was it Michigan?"

He shrugs, his broad shoulders barely lifting. "Maybe." He doesn't elaborate, of course, so I press on.

"What's there for you in Michigan, Mogie?"

"Trees," he says after a beat. "Rivers."

I try not to smile. "Just trees and rivers? No family, no old friends waiting around for you?"

He shakes his head, pushing a pack aside. "Friends from before don't matter much now." His voice drops, quieter than usual. "Family's scattered. I see 'em sometimes."

I nod, absorbing his words. It's rare for Mogie to offer up even that much. "So you'll stay in the Army then?"

He shrugs again. "Maybe." His gaze moves past me, toward the open door, as if watching something in the distance. "Army's what I know."

There's a pause, and I try to think of something that'll get through to him. "Mogie, you ever want something... more than this?" I wave around at the dusty quarters, the equipment, the endless routine.

He looks at me for a long moment, as if deciding whether to answer. Finally, he says, "Depends what you mean by more."

I feel a pang of frustration, but I know this is how he is—always spare, just enough to keep you curious. "I mean... something different. Out there in the world. Maybe back home. A real life."

Mogie's quiet for a moment, picks up a canteen, begins turning it over in his hands. "Did different already," he says. "The world's all the same. This is just... simpler."

I watch him, wondering what he means by simpler. The Mogie I know has always been steady, reliable, but there's something almost haunted about the way he says it. "I guess I get that," I say softly. "I... sometimes think it'd be simpler to stay here too. But... you don't stay anywhere forever. Right?"

For a moment, I think he's going to give me the same shrug, the same for sure. But then he speaks, low and slow. "Sister Olive-Oh, you lookin' to settle?"

The question catches me off guard, and I hesitate. "I don't know, Mogie. I guess I don't know what I'm looking for."

He nods, as if he understands. "World's big," he says. "Won't make you find it though if... if you keep running from it."

That hangs in the air, and I realize I've never heard him say anything like it. He looks at me directly, his expression serious. "Thing is, you don't gotta settle, Sister Olive-Oh. But someday you're gonna find what you're lookin' for. Just don't try too hard."

I laugh, a little nervously. "So just... drift?"

He shakes his head. "Not driftin'. Just... don't fight the current."

I don't say anything, letting his words sink in. They feel heavier than usual, like he's giving me something important.

After a few seconds of silence, I clear my throat, decide to lighten the moment. "So, if you're ever not in the Army anymore... you think you'll go back to the trees and rivers of Michigan?"

Mogie looks out the door, then back at me. "Maybe," he says, his tone thoughtful. "Or maybe somewhere else. Just... not fightin' the current."

"Not fighting the current," I repeat softly. In that moment, it feels like advice weighted with all the things he can't—or won't—say out loud.

I sigh deeply, look at my watch, stand to leave, hold his gaze for a moment, feeling the weight of the silence between us. "Mogie, one more thing." I face him with my hands clasped in front.

He nods, crosses his arms, blinks, looks beyond me, then locks his eyes on mine. I shiver. We sit in silence for seconds.

I continue, "I need your help. My girlfriend Anja Walena went to the East about ten days ago, I've heard nothing."

"That's some bad shit." He picks up some papers then lays them aside again, starts cracking his huge knuckles.

"Here is her address nearby, and her phone number. I want you to try to reach her, and if you do, give her my address and number back in the World. Okay?" I hand him a piece of paper.

He takes the paper, looks at it, and says, "For sure."

I am just outside his supply cage, and I consider walking around to his desk, through the pass through, and giving him an affectionate hug. But, I decide not to do that, and instead raise my hand and say, "Later, home." (Army war slang to call a person "home" to show some bond or kinship)

"He raises his hand saying, "Later, Sister Olive-Oh", picks up the papers, and resumes his work.

Just as I turn from his door to walk down the hall, I think of another request for Mogie. So I do an about-face and walk back into his area. He looks up at me as I approach once again, a blank expression on his face. Although now I notice how tired he appears.

I stop and say, "Mogie, one more thing. There is another woman, also a German, named Leida Offenbrücke. It is unlikely, but if you hear of her looking for me, please also give her that same information that I just gave to you. Okay?"

Still looking blank, Mogie asks, "Who is this woman, Sister Olive-Oh?"

I look back at Mogie, equally expressionless, and say, "She is my fiancée."

Mogie's eyebrows arch upward. I turn and leave without another word, but when I am barely steps away, I hear him whisper, "The current."