The Wall Crossers

Three Days after Christmas

Olivia's perspective

It is three days after Christmas. I am with Anja in her flat and we are finally alone.

When I arrived earlier in the day, Margot was already here, and she and Anja were in a mood—almost as though they had been drinking too much, or even were high on something—although I know Anja well and she does not use drugs.

Anja and I shared some moments of longing and drifting into each other, in her parlor, while Margot was busy in the kitchen.

I am wearing my light blue jumper over white t-shirt, and the cute brown leather zip up boots.

Anja is wearing a white mini-skirt with purple horizontal stripes, and a pink halter top and also her brown leather zip up boots.

We are wearing, as always, our rings—her coral and my turquoise.

When I arrived earlier, Margot and Anja had been making much out of calling me Livia. When I seemed puzzled, Margot grew exasperated and said It means she wants to make love with you, you cute dumb weird girl!

Anja and I seemed so close to falling into each other. Not like that time in November when we chastely slept together in her bed for half the night, before I left to go back to my barracks. This time it seemed so—about to happen... all the way.

And at one point, Anja had said something shocking to me. She really did! She had placed her hand on the side of my face, and looked me in the eyes, and then she said it. I was astonished... didn't know how to respond.

But of course, Margot was with us, and came back into the room just at that time. And then we all three went shopping in KuDamm together.

So now I am in my chair and Anja on her love seat and Margot has gone home.

We have known for weeks that Horst is coming across in the last two weeks of December. That means within the next three days, since that is all the time left of those two weeks. And Anja and I both are well aware that this means what we have together, whatever it is, will end then too.

After all this time together, we have grown so close. But—we have never kissed. We have never said we are in love. We have protected Anja's suche—her desire to not fall in love, but to complete her years-long plan with Horst—once and for all and either fulfill their love, or... at least, see it all through to some end. Yet at the same time... Anja wants to keep me close... just in case... in case their end is not the dream Anja always hoped for—the one long expected.

Anja's perspective

I am looking at Livie, knowing, what we have now will change... very soon. We are talking about our shopping trip today with Margot.

I say, "I love the new Spring fashions they are showing in the magazines, Livie! Maybe we will see them in March, Ja?"

Livie says, "I like the open-back sun-dresses. Too bad we can't wear them to work!"

I giggle and say, "Well, the Army should let you wear some dress to work... and some pretty shoes, instead of those awful things you have to wear. Don't they understand you are a girl?"

"You know they don't, Anja. And even if they did, have you seen what they make the women soldiers wear? It is a disgrace how women are treated in the Army!"

I nod. Giggle.

Livie says, "Will Horst go shopping with you, Anja? Does he like that?"

I say, "No, I am sure he doesn't... well, I mean, I don't think so... but I don't... I don't know."