Lone Wolf [Discontinued]

Chapter 21

TW: Swearing (minor), mention of suicide (vague), self-harm, mention of self-harm, anorexia

I stared out the window of the chem lab at the gray clouds that were currently blanketing the sky outside. No rain was falling yet, but there was supposed to be some later today according to the weather forecast. The sky can reflect what you are feeling sometimes. For example, right now it's like a storm of tears is about to break through, but it's waiting and holding it in until it must let it out. Until the burden gets to heavy.

I had skipped lunch, thank goodness was Peter didn't find out, opting instead to sit outside on the wall in front of the fields where I can see some of the bustling city through the fence school border thing. That way I didn't have to be social with people. Especially after what happened earlier today.

Knowing that I am claustrophobic, Flash shoved me into a locker and then shut the door and locked it. It was right before class started, too, so nobody would have heard me if I called for help. I managed to use Peter and I's telepathic link to call for help, but that took a while since Peter had a Spanish quiz, and of course there's the whole "they will go and share answers in the hallways during the quiz" thing. So, I had to wait.

So, while he was rushing to finish his Spanish quiz, with a little help from me (it's not cheating if you don't get caught?). Actually, that's not true at all. Oh well. I was stuck trying to suffocate a panic attack so I wouldn't break down in the middle of school. Not like I didn't break right after Peter finally got to me. At least Peter was able to comfort me rather fast.

I ended up skipping my last class without much worry from anyone. I told Peter I had a slight headache and with our enhanced senses slight headaches can go to killer headaches in the course of ten minutes. He told the office where I had went when they asked, which they didn't like the fact that I skipped but, oh well. They aren't gonna track me down.

I had snuck out to the edge of town where Peter wouldn't check unless there was a crime alert in the area, which was extremely uncommon, or if he gets so worried he tracks my phone. I had ran here in my half-form before settling down on a fire escape. I was still disguised as Alpha Moon, but I was not trying to be her right now. Hopefully I wouldn't be bothered...

I was playing music through my earbuds. I hid them under my hair in my normal human ears, though if I wanted to I probably could have listened to the music through my suit or wolf ears. It was a musician that did good music that could be emotional or whatever else. Røze was the artist's name, and I was listening to my favorite song by her called Scars.

Of course I'm the lucky one who
Made it out without scars but you
Don't know who we are

These lyrics speak to me. Literally, with my quick healing I don't really scar so I can't prove it. Those I suppose that helps me when I'm trying to hide them... Anyways. I can't show the scars inside my head as well. People can't see the scars people have left in there. The things that are constantly bringing me down, instead of building me up for later in life.

Then I hide this side of me, where I'm sad all the time because I don't want to bring other people down in the dumps with me. So, people don't know who I am or how I'm feeling inside. Just something you kinda get used to over time... A constant facade of happiness or apathy.

Its close but so damn far you
Feel it in your heart but you
Just shrug in disregard

I've tried to tell people. Heck, I'll tell about a time. I wanted to tell someone so I went over text and tried to tell them. I tried to show the fact that I really wasn't ok. Guess I wasn't convincing enough and they thought I was faking it, though I would never fake something this serious. They didn't tell anyone, but that didn't stop them from thinking that I was trying to gain extra attention.