Daddy Dearest

Chapter Nineteen

Melody

Ben was going to kiss me, I knew he was. He wanted to, at the front porch, and almost did when we were alone in my bedroom. Damn his sense of honor!

I was awake the whole time, but I knew if I opened my eyes, Ben would set me down and go back to being Mr. Davenport, Charlie and Lottie’s dad. I almost broke character when Nancy fainted in distress upon seeing me “unconscious,” but honestly, she needs to get a grip. The lady is way too uptight. We’re talking about dropping dead from an aneurysm at twenty-nine. She needs to chill.

I knew she was going to be okay because Mrs. Davenport was with her and Ben didn’t seem too worried, either. He was a corpsman in the reserves of the Royal Marines and actually served a tour in Afghanistan, so he tended to injuries and wounds on the frontline. He told Mrs. D that all Nancy needed was some water and a lie-down.

Maybe a Valium, as far as I’m concerned.

I imagined Ben was my groom, and he was taking me to our honeymoon suite at last. I almost fainted for real at the idea of it. He placed me right smack-dab in the middle of the mattress, carefully took off my shoes, and covered me with the quilt I had at the foot of my bed.

I thought that would be it. He’d turn off my light, leave my room, and close the door like a dad would after wishing his daughter good night. Instead, my mattress dipped because he was sitting on the bed next to me. His hand hovered over my face and his fingers slowly traced my features without touching me. I held my breath as he laid his palm on my cheek and ran his thumb over my lower lip.

I thought, this is it, he’s really going to do it. Oh my God, my life is going to change forever.

And then he was gone. He took his hand off my face like my skin scalded him and fled my room like The Phantom in fear of being exposed to the light. He closed the door as if by doing so, he could leave his shame behind with me.

I spring out of bed, run into my closet with a pillow, and scream. I sit on the carpeted floor for a while, frustrated with Ben and myself. Okay, so he’s physically attracted to me. I don’t even care if it’s because I look like my mother (I’ve seen pictures—I look like Meredith Z. Plum) and he was once in love with her. He may even be in love with her, still. I don’t care. I’d stand in for my mother, if I have to.

I just want this ache to go away. This intense tugging of desire in my lower belly that feels like a period cramp, except it suffuses my body with heat. But it’s a different kind of fever. It happens when Ben is nearby and I feel like he’s about to touch me, but… doesn’t. Maybe it’s the girls’ version of the blue balls. My breasts also get so sore and heavy, like they’re just begging to be fondled and squeezed.

I’ve honestly kind of given up on Ben because I don’t really want him to compromise his principles and cheat on his wife with a seventeen-year-old girl because no matter how you view it, the optics are bad all around. I mean, Ben is just not that guy. He’s a family man; an honorable, church-going man who cares about his community and loves his wife and children.

He would never have a sleazy affair with a girl he practically raised, his best friend’s orphan daughter. He’s just not that guy.

Lottie doesn’t think her dad has ever cheated on her mom, but she suspected that her mom had an affair with someone she met at a mental health symposium in New York six years ago. She was going to New York a lot, staying there for days at a time, and would fight with her dad constantly when she returned home.

Apparently, her dad found out that her mom had a second phone and she wouldn’t tell him what it was for. Lottie remembers one big fight that caused her dad to move out and live somewhere else for two weeks. Her dad was accusing her mom of hiding things from him and Waverly said, “Oh, that’s rich, like you haven’t been emotionally cheating on me for years!” Her dad got really mad and looked like he was going to slap her mom, but he just said, “Don’t!” After that, he went back into their bedroom and came out fifteen minutes later with a suitcase. Her mom, who was pregnant with Madi at the time said, “Bugger off then, you son of a bitch. This is what you always do with your problems. You fucking run away.” Her dad didn’t even say anything back. He just hugged Lottie and Charlie and told them he’d call them later, before driving off.