Daddy Dearest

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT (FULL)

Ben

This weekend is the Homecoming Dance and after next week, I will leave Sacred Heart for my new position at Mount Holyoke College in Thousand Oaks. Waverly and I found a small flat near the campus where I could sleep when I was too tired to drive home. I wonder how much time I would actually spend there.

It would set my mind at ease if I knew Melody would be safe once I left Sacred Heart for good. I don't really see her much around anymore. She told Tessie she would just "Zoom" into the Yearbook meetings. She doesn't come to the house anymore, either. Lottie spends a lot of time at Harry's house, and sometimes Charlie goes with her. Madi asked me if Melody was cross with us because she hasn't come over in a while. I had to tell her that Melody is very busy at school and maybe she could ask Lottie to take her for a visit with Melody at her house, instead.

Not seeing her has been a relief. I had prepared to keep my feelings for her a secret—because I was sure it would fade in time—but when she sought me in my office that afternoon and confessed that she felt the same, it became harder for me to pretend I don't love her in a way a man loves a woman. Waverly says I've been distant, disconnected from the family, and she is afraid we'd have the same problems we had before— when I shut down after Merry's death. I hate that she thinks like this, but I fear she may be right.

The good news is I've been getting a lot of writing done. Existential angst has always been a great motivator for me, so I've been locking myself up in my office after dinner every night and racking up at least four thousand words before I get too tired and pass out on the couch. Pam is pleased as Punch. The older kids seem to notice that something is off, but the two younger ones are so far oblivious to it.

Lottie pulled me aside one evening and asked if I really wanted to go through the job transfer. I told her it was the best move for everyone involved and a great career decision for me. Ever the perceptive one, my daughter squinted at me and said, "That's not what I asked."

I hooked my arm around her neck and pulled her to me. "Wanna go for a walk and get frozen yogurt?"

And that was the end of that.

As I was getting my two youngest ready for school this morning, Waverly rushes into the kitchen, grabs her tumbler of coffee, and tells me, "Oh, I forgot to tell you: Nancy Plum invited us to dinner tonight. I hope you don't have any plans. I accepted her invite."

My heart sinks to my stomach, but I keep my face neutral. At the breakfast table, Madi and Noah cheer because they're finally going to see Melody. "Are we bringing the kids?" It would be better if we could bring the kids.

"Sorry, gooses." Waverly kisses them both on the forehead. Noah complains about a lipstick mark. "But Mrs. Plum only invited me and your da, just adults."

Noah scrunches his nose. "But Melody is just a kid like us and she's going to be there!"

"Melody is going to be eighteen in December, so not a kid," I say without thinking.

"Compared to us geriatrics, still a kid." Chuckling, my wife comes up to me and kisses my chin. "All right, loves, mummy's leaving now. I'll see you later."

Ouch. There's the early morning sucker punch to fully wake me up this morning.

The kids finish their breakfast and we all pile up in my Escalade to go to school. Oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day. I've got a beautiful feeling. Everything's going my way.

"Daddy?" Madi says from her safety booster seat. "What are you singing?"

I didn't even realize I was doing it out loud. Shit, I hope the sarcasm didn't come through. Maybe the kids will think I'm really singing about a beautiful morning.