It All Started when I was FLUSHED down the TOILET

37: say something

~Axel~

I was devastated, in pain, depressed, my back hurt like a bitch and my lungs burned like the water on my stove at home.

I nearly died in the flipping tundra only to find out that I was going to die quicker in two weeks!

I honestly felt crappier than I had before.

I knew it. It just had to be true. I know that these past few weeks I had been denying it but the fact that I was dying...it all seemed so real to me now.

I hid my shit from Chloe and I just wanted her not to worry but now that she knew, I guess our relationship did a 360 on me.

She was pissed, she cried a lot, threw some things at me before she was sedated by some nurses, otherwise she looked pretty fine.

We sat together in the large car as the driver drove us home. 

She never dared to look at me, speak to me or anything. This honestly hurt like a bitch and I didn't know just what to do.

She honestly was the first person that I had truly loved and since the accident nothing had ever been the same.

I get that she was upset because I kept this from her but she should've understood where I was coming from.

I was terrified of dying but I was more scared of losing her in the process. This relationship was a mistake.

Whatever this was...it was just something I did to feed my selfish beast.

I was going to die and she was going to feel terrible about it all because I didn't want to die alone.

All because I had intense feelings for her.

All because  I loved her.

~Chloe~

I felt uneasy, queezy, in pain, irritated and also just sad.

Sad because I had to get a shot in the butt to keep me asleep and far from hurting Axe Body Spray.

I wasn't going to hurt him I swear, I just wanted to get my emotions out. Maybe a chair wasn't the best way of doing things.

I felt queezy because all this time I had no idea what Axel had to go through all these years.

I almost lost him and this was what I was going to hear, that I only had two weeks left with him, that the cancer spread throughout his entire body.

He was suffering and he never told me.

No wonder he was losing weight. 

I felt guilty for not talking to him about this and here he was next to me, holding my hand desperately trying to get me to speak.

I was a massive douche bag, more massive than Jimin's Jibooty.

What was I supposed to say?

Hi?

We were in this car all day without saying a word to each other.

I thought of something and breathed out slowly.

"I have explosive diarrhea."I said seriously.

Axel laughed so hard at that, "What?" He asked wide-eyed letting go of my hand.

I joined in laughing with him feeling the atmosphere change.

"I knew that would clear the air." I said proudly smiling at him and he smiled back at me.