I would die for you, but I won't live for you -Niall Horan au

thirty-eight

Sorry, this is really short

I looked at Niall.

He looked like a mess. His hair was everywhere instead of its usual style, he was dressed like a hobo, and his eyes were red and puffy with darks bags under them. It was as if he hadn’t slept in days.

He looked at me with sad eyes and a hurt expression written on his face. I had to look away from him before I started crying again. “Lou, I need the keys.” Harry said, holding out his hand. Louis gave them to him and Harry hopped into the van and drove off. “What’s he doing?” I asked. I found myself looking at Liam, waiting for an answer. “To stop Riley from getting on the plane.” He said. I laughed and shook my head. “She’s not leaving today. She’s picking up her cousin.” I told them. “Somebody should tell him so he can come back.” I took out my phone and started dialing his number.

“Let him go. It’s romantic.” Louis smiled. I laughed and rolled my eyes. I looked at Niall again and he still looked so sad. Everyone stayed quiet until Zayn spoke. And of course, he asked the question I had been dreading since I saw them get out of that damn van. “So, why did you guys leave? I thought we were having fun.” He said. Niall stayed silent and lowered his head. I would have thought that he’d say something to the boys about what happened. “Well…”

“Can we talk, Payton?” Niall asked, cutting me off. I looked at Louis, Liam and Zayn. I didn’t want to be left alone with Niall, but at the same time I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. “Let’s go for a walk.” Liam suggested, grabbing both Louis’ and Zayn’s wrist and pulling them away. Niall and I looked at each other for a second before I turned and walked into the living room. I stopped there and faced him with my arms crossed over my chest. He looked around the room before returning his gaze to me.

“I’m sorry.” He said. I didn’t know what came over me, but I walked over to him and slapped him across the face. I expected him to get angry, upset or maybe even hit me back but he stayed completely calm. “I deserved that.” He said, rubbing his cheek. I took a step back and waited for him to talk.

“I don’t know why I did what I did, but it was a huge mistake. I wish that I could go back and change it but I can’t. And I’m so sorry.” He explained. I saw his eyes begin to fill with tears and it took everything in me not to cry. “Why are you sorry. It’s not like we were together.” I didn’t want to say it, because it felt as if we were actually getting to that point. I had to say it though. I had to know exactly why he was sorry.

“I know that. But we had something special. And we still have it. Since the day I came back, I had fallen for you more and more every single day. I truly wanted to be with you. Fuck, I still want to be with you! And I know you want to be with me too."