Be my Starr (Ringo Starr)

Chapter 21: Goodnight

Susan had walked home that day feeling very lost and dissociated. Barbara asked her why she was home so early when she got in but she didn't reply. Talking wasn't worth it anymore.

Susan shut the door behind her as she climbed into bed and pulled the covers over her head, blocking the light out and replacing it with the dark. She didn't move for the rest of the day. She didn't leave. She didn't get up. Barbara had even knocked on the door once or twice to ask if she was okay but she got no answer.

Susan could hide away from everyone else but herself, the person she wished to escape the most. Lying to Ringo felt impossible but she had already done it. Many times now. She has already betrayed his trust. Could she do it again? Karen said they'd ruin her, and Susan could tell she was deadly serious.

As the hours passed, Susan contemplated her options, the few she had but now she had finally come to the conclusion, the one she knew would be the one since she had left the office.

"Susan." She heard Barbara say. "You've been in there ages, are you okay?" Susan was unresponsive. "Right, that's it. I'm coming in." Barbara opened the door.

Her eyes focused on the lump under the bed covers. She sighed. "Susie..." She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, "What's up?" No answer. Barbara sighed. "I swear to God, if you don't answer me, I'm gunna batter you with a pillow." No answer. "Right." Barbara grabbed a pillow and started attacking Susan with it.

"Hey!" Susan quickly emerged from the covers, Barbara noticed her red teary eyes instantly.

"You look like shit." Barbara laughed. Susan averted eye-contact with her. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Susan mumbled, Barbara could also tell by her voice that she had been crying.

"Then why have you been crying?" Barbara asked.

"I haven't." Barbara laughed again.

"Girl, you sound like you've got the flu, of course, you've been crying."

"Maybe I've got the flu." Susan shrugged.

"Susan, stop being a bitch and tell me what's wrong." She ordered. Barbara was always forward in these situations. She didn't give pity. She wasn't one of those "it's okay, you rest and I'll make you something to eat." She didn't believe in that approach. Susan was like her little sister so she felt like she had to protect her. If Susan was sad, she had to know why so she could sort it out for her.

"I just had a bad day at work ok, now leave me alone."

"Did someone say something to you?" Susan looked away. "Was it Karen? I swear to God-"

"No one said anything." Susan interrupted. "It's just me being sad for no reason." She murmured. "I'll be fine in a bit."

"You say that but if I leave now, you won't come out of this room for days."

"I will." Susan protested.

"What?" Barbara smirked. "After last time when you broke up with that piece of shit and practically lived in your room for 2 weeks straight, no girl, not today." Barbara stood up. "Get up." Susan looked at her.

"What?"

"You heard me, get your ass up now, there's a horror movie coming on in ten minutes and we're watching it."

"I'm alright, thanks." Susan laid back down on her pillow.

"You sure about that?" Barbara snatched the pillow from under her pillow and started attacking her again.

"Stop!" Susan yelled as Barbara mercilessly beat her with her pillow. "I'll come, I'll come!" Barbara stopped and grinned.

"I knew you would. Come on." Barbara waited until Susan walked out so she could shut the door behind her.

Barbara walked over and collapsed on the sofa. Linda turned to Susan.

"Did she hit you with the pillow again?" Susan nodded weakly. "I'll make you some toast." Linda got up from her desk and walked off into the kitchen.

"Thanks, Linds," Susan said and joined Barbara on the sofa.

"Make us some too Linds ta!" Barbara yelled.

"Fuck off!" Linda yelled back. This cheered Susan a little and even got a little giggle out of her.

"What are you laughing at?" Barbara turned to her. They laughed together. Then the phone started ringing.

A moment.

Barbara looked at Susan. "Aren't you gunna get it?"

"Why me?"

"You know why. It's probably him." Susan didn't reply to that and kept her eyes on the TV. Barbara found this very interesting.

Linda entered with the toast and put it on the table. She walked over and answered the phone.

"Hello?" A moment later she turned to Susan. "Susan, someone wants to speak to you."

Susan turned to Barbara. Barbara looked at her. "What you lookin at me for?" Susan rolled her eyes and stood up, walking over and taking the phone from Linda.

She put the phone to her ear.

"Susie?" Ringo's voice came through the line. Oh, that voice Susan thought. She didn't answer back though. "Susan?" He said again. A tear fell down Susan's eye. This isn't how she wanted it to go but what else could she do? "Susan, are you there?" A few moments later and he finally hung up the phone.

"What were you two chatting about then?" Barbara smirked.

Susan rubbed her eye and turned to Barbara. "Stuff, just stuff."

"Stuff? Is that what we're calling it now?" Barbara glanced at the TV. "Oh Susan, the movies starting sit down!" She hurried.

Susan joined her on the sofa and picked up a piece of toast. She didn't tell Barbara or Linda about the phone call, or about what happened at the office. She just said, nothing. She went to bed that night not being able to go to sleep and she thought of him. Thought of what she should have said on the phone.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

Goodnight.