Black Rose

Chapter 22

Keran's POV

Daimeng called me to not follow in the hospital anymore. She said she could already handle that, and we should just visit Xin tomorrow. She said she gave Kiki a call as well.

My problem now is how awkward will it be when Jiaqi enters the room. I won't be able to take it so I decided to go outside and just roam around the resort.

The night was deep with the ocean as its only sound. The party is still on going so I avoided that area as much as possible. I was walking when I saw someone sitting on a bench.

It's Shaking, and she's crying again. Funny how everything's so messed up now. If only I like Zihan, If only Jiaqi like Shaking, then Xin and Xueer won't be bother, then everything will be fine.

"Hey." I said sitting next to her. She tried her best to wipe her tears then I stopped her by holding her wrist.

"You don't have to. Just think that you can cry at me everytime. When you feel like crying just tell me. No matter what I'm doing I'll be right beside you." I said as she looked at me tears still pooling in her eyes. A moment of silence enveloped as until she decided to talk.

"I confessed to Kiki. She asked me why did I like her, I told her the reason. Sad how she doesn't really remember a thing." She said. She really won't remember, because those memories aren't her's, it's mine.

"Then I got back at my cabin, and I can't sleep. I saw her sending Xueer there. She even asked Xueer for a talk, offering her coat to her, I was left in the cabin thinking, when will I experience the same treatment from her?" She said. I don't know but, as she goes on telling me those words, I'm the one hurting even more, hurting for her, for me, for us.

"Shaking, I believe one day you'd be happy. I promise I'll do everything I can to make it happen." I said. She looked at me intently, I had the urge to hold her cheeks, to hug her, to tell her I love her, but I know I can't.

"Why are you this kind to me Keran?" She asked me confusion dominating her voice. Because I love you...

"I don't know, I just feel that we have the same situation." I lied. She looked at me waiting for me to go on.

"I'm in love with someone. I love her so much that I crave for her presence. I love her so much that I'd do everything for her." I said. She's looking at me, clueless that she's the one I'm pertaining to.

"She loved me before, but I lost her. Now that she likes someone else, all I could do is to watch her falling deeper to that person." I continued, a tear escaping from my eye.

"I know how painful it is, leaving with regrets and memories. So I'll make sure no one will suffer the same pain." I said as I look at her. She's looking at me with sympathy.

"You always look cold Keran, people would not guess you're in this kind of dilemma." She said, holding my hand to comfort me.

"Shaking, if ever you are that girl, would you want me to fight for you, or would you want me to let go?" I asked her. I will let her decide which way I'll take. I will accept whatever she might anwer.

"If I'm the girl I would want you to let go. You know it is also hard for people to hurt someone, but it's inevitable. If I'm her, I would want you to find someone else who can return your feelings, someone else to take care of you. If I'm her, I'll ask you to just be happy for me, and find happiness yourself. The first step of being fine is letting go Keran." She said smiling at me. Tears that's been threatening to escape a while ago released themselves.

I don't want her to see me this vulnerable, but this will be the last time I'll have this kind of time with her. I don't want her to see me crying, but this is the only memory we have that I could relive with her.