ten days. ten whole days without kairi. mattia hadn't got up from his bed in all ten days. all he did was stare at the ceiling, numb to everything around him. usually his mother would come in his room and cuddle him, she knew he wouldn't cuddle back but she wanted him to feel loved. she didn't want him to feel alone, but he already felt this way.
six days ago was kairi's funeral. mattia didn't go. he didn't want to believe it, the pain was still so fresh to the teen that he couldn't bare to go see kairi, not even one last time. his parents went in his place, bringing him back a funeral program. the small pamphlet contained a small description of kairi's life that mattia would read almost every day. or sometimes he'd look at the picture on the front, loving to see kairi's face.
days seemed to be going by slower to mattia, it was always raining. the sun never came out anymore so it was always dark. he didn't care to check his phone that would always blow up with notifications, but it hurt. everything hurt, everything in his life reminded him of kairi and it hurt knowing none of those notifications would be from kai.
he hadn't eaten for ten days. his days consisted of going to the bathroom once, laying down for the remainder of the day, the. crying himself to sleep. he felt trapped. he felt trapped in a constant nightmare that he couldn't escape from.
today would mark the eleventh day. mattia found the strength to put on new clothes, brushing his teeth and eating a apple. he spoke about 10 words in total to his parents, telling them what he was doing today, then getting in the car with eric.
eric heard what happened and it was painfully obvious that mattia was hurt. his hair was disheveled, his eyes sporting dark circles around them, and his overall demeanor being saddened. 'good evening mr. polibio. i heard about the news and i wish to give my condolences to you. the other mr. polibio seemed to be a great influence for you, and it's heartbreaking to here he passed' eric spoke softly, not taking his eyes off the road as he drove to mattia's desired destination.
a small smile appeared on mattia's face as he remembered when he told eric to call kairi, 'mr. polibio' because he was sure that in that moment he was going to marry kairi. 'thank you eric. that made me smile' mattia hoarsely replied due to his lack of hydration.
but the car stopped, and mattia was in front of the house him and kairi shared most of their memories. it had still been raining so eric walked mattia to the door. patting the boy's back who looked like he was ready to breakdown any second. once he reached the door, eric walked away, leaving mattia alone at the familiar wooden door.
he took a deep breath, then weakly knocked at the door. a short woman immediately opened it, she looked just as bad as mattia, no actually worse. 'hello, im here.. i'm here to see ka- kairi's mom' mattia quietly said, a lump already forming in his throat.
kairi's mom's eyes softened quickly, 'are you mattia?' she reached out for the boy's hand and walked him inside. the house was dark and quiet, kairi being the only child to a single mother, so it made sense. she rubbed circles on mattia's hand while walking him into the living room.
the room was lit by multiple candles surrounding a small urn, multiple pictures of kairi at different ages were surrounding it along with flowers and lavender incense. mattia sat down on the couch directly in front of it and bit his lip to hold back the tears.
there was a lot of condolence cards on the coffee table along with balloons, so it started to overwhelm him, kairi's mom sat down next to him. she let out labored breaths because she was still trying to cope herself.
'mattia, i have to tell you something' kairi's mom blurted, breaking the unbearable silence between the two. 'go ahead' he encouraged quietly. 'one night while kai was in the hospital, he made me promise to give you something. he said strictly to give it to you, no one else. he said it was called, um, 'living with dying'. he swore you'd know what he was talking about so i went up to his room and got it for you, along with another book on top.' she said, obviously having a hard time speaking about him.
mattia shook his head, knowing exactly what she was talking about. she stood up, mattia immediately following behind her, and they were in the kitchen. mattia sat at their dining table and she sat across from him, she slid him the books and he just looked at them for a minute.
one being the small pastel diary kairi always carried around with him, the other being 'the little prince' kairi's favorite book. mattia ran his finger over the two books quietly. he took a moment to cherish the book that kairi had once touched, mattia liked to thought of knowing he was touching something that kairi loved dearly.
'kairi told me that you probably wouldn't go to the funeral. he said that you'd be to hurt-, so he told me to give that to you. i hope you take good care of it. please take good care of it' kairi's mom said with a tone of sadness evident in her voice.
mattia looked up at the woman who was on the brink of tears and sighed, 'i swear i will. kairi meant everything to me, this book was important to him so it's also important to me.' he comforted the woman by also reaching out for her hand and rubbing it in a soothing manner.
'okay. i believe you. sor- sorry it's just hard for me' she admitted with a sniffle. mattia felt terrible for the woman, he nodded his head to show he was listening to her.
~ 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗽:
mattia closed his bedroom door with a sigh. he clutched the two books in his hand tightly and made his way to his bed. he laid down and looked at the ceiling; like he's been doing for the past few day, and just held the books to his chest.
he didn't know if he was mentally prepared to read kairi's infamous diary. he let out labored breaths before he just put the books on his nightstand. he just wanted to sleep, so he came to the conclusion he'd read the book tomorrow.
