Mark and Lexie - Let's Start Over

Chapter 20 - Some things cant be fought

Life. It truly was a gift, one everybody at Seattle Grace Hospital knew and felt all too much.

We left our couple in the worst of conditions, and Mark unexpectedly in organ failure, Lexie dead. Both dead?

Mark flickered his eyes open, his surroundings were blurry, his vision very much impaired. But he could just about see where he was. It didn't scare him. He was at the hospital, at work. But moving his eyes downwards, he spotted the white of the hospital sheets, and could feel the familiar plastic feel of the hospital beds he treated patients in. Confusion spiralled in his brain, why was he in a hospital bed? He shot up almost suddenly, before feeling a stabbing pain in his chest.

"Mark, Mark calm down. You're okay." A voice softly said, a hand touching his gently. His vision could only make out the ash blonde hair, the lisp in her voice, the slimness of her figure...Meredith.

He shook his head in an attempt to gain more vision.

Meredith slowly lowered him into a laid position. "Mark just lay down okay, otherwise you'll hurt yourself even more"
Mark obeyed her rules even if the tone of her voice felt too sympathetic for his liking.

"Meredith what's going on? Where's...Where is?" And he went breathless for a minute, unable to finish his sentence, but Meredith had no trouble doing that

"Lexie, where's Lexie? I'm guessing you remember what you saw." She pauses to see his face, he remembered alright. His panic, his loss of breath was because he remembered all too well.

Meredith - "Lexie is fine...Luckily" she said, a breaking in her voice

Mark paused "She's okay? I thought she was gone, again?"

Meredith smiled wiping one of her eyes "Nope, but close to it. She's in pysc, they had to admit her there...As much as i tried to force them not to...She needs to be there. Only for a little while, but as for you Mark...." she said doing her usual sympathy he's doing tilt

He looked at her concerned, his vision finally recovered so he could see all of her looks and features now. She certainly looked tired he thought

Meredith - "You suffered loss of complete oxygen flow to your lungs. Your lungs started to fail..."

Mark - confused again "How..? I, I was doing CPR and."

Meredith - "You panicked Mark, you panicked too much. In fact this only happened because you've been in pure panic over Lexie these past few weeks, the stress has strained your lungs. You seem to have had many panic attacks, so it looks like, over the past few months. Or, the other option could be that you've been over exercising and it's caused a strain. Both are pretty serious Mark, and I'm sorry to say it but maybe seeing Lexie right now isn't so great for you. Or her."

Mark looked at her with an angry glare

Mark - "Meredith dont you dare come in here telling me to give up on Lexie after all of this time, after all of this fight. After everything, the plain crash, Julie, the shooting...Do you really think I'd give up loving her now. You know what, out of everybody in this damn hospital i really thought you'd be the one to understand fight, especially for love. But, i guess not. So either tell me how long I'm going to be 'strained' and stuck in this fucking hospital bed or get the hell out"

Meredith - "Mark that was harsh. But I'll leave you. You have 2 days left, we did surgery last night. You'll be fine, you'll just need medication and rest and maybe a break. Oh and for the record, when I was drowning in that water 5 years ago, I gave up swimming, i gave up fighting and that wasn't just because i thought i was a failure...." and she left

Mark held his head in his hands, and rubbed his eyes. Meredith just blamed him for Lexie trying to kill herself, aswell as telling him to back away. How much worse could he feel? Maybe the overexercising was for something, and all of a sudden he felt the urge to go on a run. But his bones, his muscles, his lungs and especially his wounded heart felt weak so he just fell asleep. And for the first time ever Mark wanted the pain to stop, he wanted to fall asleep forever and escape it.

Fighting for love felt too much to do, so he laid there dreaming of Lexie of her olive skin touching his, of her silky brunette hair in the cute bun she had it in whenever she was working really hard in the ER, and the slow, soft kiss

she gave him when she wanted to make every second last, when life wasn't so difficult, when they were both fine.

Because some things shouldn't be fought for, and if Mark could just spend one more night with her, he would do it in his dream because maybe just maybe, they were  meant to be there

'Meant to be' in a different universe. But certainly not now.