All That Was Me (OUAT Fanfiction)

Edwinstowe, 1982

Author's Notes: This story is an AU Outlaw Queen story inspired by Diana Gabaldon's "Outlander." It does start out Stable Queen, where both Regina and Daniel were born in our world, the "Land Without Magic." I have adjusted plots accordingly to fit this change. I hope my changes make sense.

Rating for some: cursing, violence and sexual scenes.

Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time or the characters from the show. Once again, the premise is based on "Outlander" by Diana Gabaldon and some elements from the novel have been incorporated into this story.

Sing me a song of a lass that is gone

Say, could that lass be I?

Merry of soul she sailed on a day
Over the sea to Skye.

(Outlander opening titles, "The Skye Boat Song")

Chapter 1: Edwinstowe, 1982

I had always found comfort in science. Science always had the answers. Why was the sky blue? Because molecules in the air scattered blue light more than red. Why did pennies turn green? It was oxidation, the copper reacting to oxygen molecules. Basic questions, but all answered by science. Sitting in my first grade classroom, I was fascinated. When we created a volcano using baking powder and vinegar in third grade, I knew I wanted to be a scientist.

But it was 1963, the last year of Camelot. The women's liberation movement was just starting to catch fire but not in my elementary school. My teachers told my parents to dissuade me from science, believing it impossible for a woman to break into the field. They told them to encourage me to switch my love of combining chemicals into combining ingredients and to focus on baking. It was a more ladylike pursuit, after all.

My mother, Caroline, took their advice to heart. For Christmas, she bought me one of the new Easy-Bake Ovens in an attempt to courage me toward baking. I liked it well enough-it was very similar to chemistry-but I still loved science more. Mother also signed me up for etiquette classes, hoping to make me more ladylike. She had plans and my happiness was never part of them.

In those days, my father Henry was my lifesaver. He bought me my first chemistry set and snuck science books in for me to read. And he hid them for me so Mother wouldn't find them. When she was trying to get me to go to dance recitals, Dad and I drove to different science museums. I would have gone insane if not for him.

Pain gripped my heart as tears pricked my eyes. Dad's death hurt still. Which was understandable as it had only been a month earlier. It had been cancer. Dad and his doctors had fought it with everything available in medicine. I used my connections and was able to research a new experimental drug. Long days and late nights followed but I was relentless. If I wasn't experimenting, I was reading everything I could. Dad and I weren't going to go down without a fight.

In the end, the disease won. It was the first time science let me down. That hurt almost as much as the fact that my father wasn't there anymore.

A tissue was pressed into my hand. I glanced up, looking at my husband Daniel through tear-filled eyes. He smiled at me though his eyes were filled with concern. Wrapping an arm around me, he pulled me in close. Daniel kissed the top of my head before whispering, "It'll be all right. It's okay to cry. It's okay."

I rested my head on his shoulder and let the tears fall. My sobs shook my body as he held me close, muttering nonsense in my ear. It was soothing nonetheless.

Our taxi hit a bump, sending us into my window. "God fucking damn it! Did you have to hit the one bump in the road?"

"Sorry about that," the driver said, sounding contrite. "I didn't mean to but it was unavoidable."