Little Miss Perfect ✔~ trixya

Chapter 11: Take A Chance

Trixie

"I'd rather be disappointed than have a world without you. I don't blame you for anything Trix, and I don't hate you. It's okay to make mistakes, and if that's all that party was then that's okay. I'll respect that and I'll stop all the flirting." Katya says.

Do I want that?
Do I really want her flirting to stop?

No.

But I can't say that, I can't admit too much. I can't say I enjoy it or that it allows me to taste the freedom I secretly crave.
God, why does it constantly feel like I have the world on my back?
Why can I never just breathe?
Can I just get a second to calm down and get my head over water?

I always listen to everyone else's opinion. I put too much weight on every word they say and every glace they send me. I put so much pressure on myself, but I think I'm reaching my limit. I try to be an angel, but I don't think I can...

Still I can't say the words, can't tell her the truth I know lingers inside my heart.

Maybe I can partly admit to it?
Maybe I can sort of tell her not to give up on me?

"I.. I don't know what it was... but I don't think it was a mistake." I say quietly as I exit the stall.

"You don't?" Katya asks surprised.

"No... but I don't... I don't know what that really means.. And I'm sort of dating Jason now, so it's not like anything can happen again anyways." I mumble.

Why did I say that?
I don't even like Jason. I'm just with him because it means not having to face all these conflicting thoughts in my head. Courtney's words play in my head;

"God doesn't love you more for acting like a homophobic asshole."

I've never heard Courtney talk that way before and so the words were shocking, but they also make me wonder who God would like less.
Would he disapprove of Jason the most for judging others and spreading hate?
Or would he disapprove of Katya the most for being a... a lesbian?

That's the first I've really allowed myself to use that word, even just in my own thoughts.

Why does it sort of feel freeing?

"Oh really? Dating, huh? Is it serious?" Katya says with a fire in her eyes that I can't recognize, but that makes my knees feel weak and my breathing speed up as she steps closer to me.

What the hell is happening to me?

"Does he hold you like you should be held, кукла?" She asks as her arms wrap around my waist and pull me close, her chest against mine.

Why does this bathroom suddenly feel like a sauna?

"Does he touch you like you should be touched?"

Her fingers travel up and down my spine, making me shiver, before her hand travels down to my squeeze my ass making me release a small noise of pleasure. Katya grins at me deviliously, like she knows exactly what she's doing.

"Does he kiss you like you should be kissed?" She asks and a second later those plump lips are on mine, her tounge infiltrating my mouth, which makes me moan as I wrap my arms around her neck to pull her closer. 

A fire burns in my stomach as she lifts me up and carries me to sit on the counter between the sinks. My legs are on each side of hers and her hands find my lower back, pressing our bodies together sinfully. Her touch ignites my body, sending sparks of electricity through me as our lips move desperately against eachother. 

And then the bell sounds, and in less then a second she pulls away from me completely.

"So I guess the answer to all my questions is no. I'll see you in math class, куколка." She says as she leaves the bathroom, leaving me alone to catch my breath. 

"Holy shit." I whisper as I hold a hand over my heart, trying to make it calm down.