Little Miss Perfect ✔~ trixya

Chapter 31: Goodbye Sky Castle

Trixie

"Can you believe him? The nerve! Not only does he treat mom like crap for years, now he's gonna make it seem like he's the one leaving her?!" I say as I pace back and forth inside of Katya's room.

It's been an interesting couple of days.
Rumors that mom and I are staying with Katya's family have of course spread, because this town does not know how to keep out of other people's business. And in an even more interesting turn of events, dad used it as an opportunity to make himself look better. Therefor he's been telling everyone that he as a man of God, can't remain married to a woman who supports me in my life choice.
So not only is he claiming to be a better Christian than mom, he's also basically outed me to the entire town.
So yeah, my dad's a real legend... 

"Okay, calm down tiger." Katya says, taking my hand and leading me to sit down on the bed next to her.

"I'm sorry, it just makes me so pissed. And on top of it all, he just goes and casually outs me to the town? Fucking asshole." I respond.

"Yeah, he's not getting the father of the year award, that's for sure... ебаный мудак. I'm really sorry all this happened, ангел." 

"It's okay... well, it's not okay... but at least we'll be leaving this town soon. I just can't believe he'd go this far. How little respect is it possible to have for your own family? How little does he care about us? How can he have been married to mom for so many years, known for ages that he was hurting her constantly, and still paint her as the bad guy? How can he throw me away like I'm nothing?" I say sadly.

It's not that I've ever expected much from dad, I've known all my life that I've been more of a trophy then a daughter to him. But I guess a small part of me still hoped that some part of him loved me. Things were kind of okay at one point in our life, there were moments were I thought there was some care in his eyes, so why has all trace of it dissappeared now? 

Why was I even hopeful?
Why have I let a part of me believe that he might love me?
Why have I set myself up for failure?

Maybe because I dedicated my life to him and mom. My entire life I lived for them and for God. Followed every demand, worked myself to the bone, prayed as hard as I could, all just to please them. I cried myself to sleep over disappointing test results. I went to school even if I was sick. I believed because I was told to believe. I tried so hard to be brave and stick it out, fought through it all just to see them smile.

Dad never smiled brighter at me then he did whenever I did the best academically. If he could brag that I was top of the class then he'd take me to fancy parties and tell everyone, show me off like some possession.

It was like living in a sky castle. You could be on top of the world, and then almost fall to your death the very next day. But I did it... I endured it becase of that small part of me that wanted to believe that he would love me for me if I only worked hard enough. 

"Oh кукла, I really wish it wasn't like this. I wish there was something I could do..." Katya says as she wraps an arm around my shoulders.

"You just being here is enough." I say softly, resting my head on her shoulder. "You know what annoys me the most tho?" I add.

"What?"

"I didn't get to have my big coming out moment. I had this idea of like coming out in my graduation speech. Like, drop a huge bomb and then skip town." I say in a more upbeat tone.

"You could still do it." Katya says.

"Nah, I think I'll stick with the more standard stuff. I don't think it would have that much effect now anyways." 

"Well, it's you choice, but I still think it would be pretty badass." Katya says as she pulls me in closer.

At least now I don't have to try to prove myself to be worthy of someone's love. Now I'm surrounded by people that I know love me, and who's love won't change depending on how much I achieve. No matter how dad tries to hurt us, I'd rather have this then his castle in the sky.

My life with mom.
My life with Katya.
Her family.
That's worth the world to me.